GIFT 


STUDIES  IN  STANZAS 


BY 


ORPHEUS  C.  KERR     | 


NEW  YORK 

THE  USEFUL  KNOWLEDGE  PUBLISHING  COMPANY 

No.  18  VESEY  STREET 
1882 


• 

COPYRIGHT  1882  BY  R.  H.  NEWELL 


GIFT 


S  W  GREEN'S  SON 

Printer  Elecirotyper  and  Binder 

74  Beekman  Street 

New  York 


CONTENTS. 


TINTS  OF  THE  TIMES.  PAGE. 

THE  IMPERIAL  VOTARESS 7 

FAMILY  READING 13 

"  SlMILIA  SlMILIBUS  CURANTUR. "... l6 

FIAT  JUSTITIA 23 

GRANT 26 

OWGOOST  AND  MAHREE 33 

WATTS  IN  A  PANIC 36 

PLAY  OF  THE  PERIOD 38 

RECOGNITION 41 

RECONSTRUCTED 45 

THAT  AWFUL  DAD 50 

WATCH  C^SARISM  54 

SUMNER ,, 58 

No  SANTA  GLAUS 61 

A  CUP  TO  CHRISTMAS 66 

FRAUD  BY  HEAVEN 69 

AT  THE  SPRINGS 71 

THE  BROKEN  RACER  74 

JUST  THE  TROUBLE 77 

THE  MAN  THEY  HANG  81 

CERTAIN  VERSES 83 

THE  RIVEN  AEROSTAT 86 

"  Purs  "  AND  "  CALLS  " 91 

AT  EASTER 94 

THE  MUTE 96 

HYGEIA  IN  THE  SOUTH 99 

THE  TRIUMPH 101 

Vox  DEI 106 

(3) 


4  Contents. 

THE  NINE 108 

PRO  P ATRIA  MORI no 

THE  "LAST  "MAN  112 

EPITHALAMIUM. 115 

BROTHER  BLATHERS 117 

IN  LENT 122 

THE  DEAD  NAPOLEON 124 

HUMOR'S  ILIAD 127 

THE  JESTER'S  BURIAL 130 

BALLADS  AND  BROADSIDES. 

A  FABLE  OF  FINANCE.  . .'-.' 137 

CONDENSED  TRAGEDIES . . . 144 

THE  COMMON  LOT 146 

THE  COMIC  CHRISTIAN  CLERGYMAN 148 

BALLOON  BALLADS 154 

Balloon  Him  of  the  Republic         , 154 

Mose 155 

Laus  Thetis 158 

Infatuosity 159 

The  Sainted  Damosel 160 

UNDERWRITEOUSNESS 163 

THE  BOSTON  MAN 170 

CHICKEN  AND  EGGS  ARE  OUT  173 

THE  TRUCKEE  REGATTA 181 

BILLIARDS ....  184 

A  STOOP  TO  CONQUER 186 

THE  POLISHED  LEGAL  GENTLEMAN 191 

SQUIBS  FOR  "  THE  FOURTH  " 199 

THE  THIRD  TERMAGANT 202 

THE  SLEIGHING  OF  OLD 209 

BEAUTY  AND  BOOTY 214 


TINTS  OF  THE  TIMES, 


(5) 


STUDIES   IN   STANZAS. 


THE  IMPERIAL  VOTARESS. 

WH£N  Ccelia,  tireless  in  her  urgent  mission, 
On  quiet  Mrs.  Domus  made  a  call, 

From  what  she  viewed  as  woman's  false  posi 
tion 
Was  drawn  her  plea  for  aid  to  Women  all. 

A  lonely  spinster,  with  a  future  cheerless 
As  were  the  loveless  years  she'd  left  behind, 

Her  heart,  unmated,  from  neglect  was  fearless 
To  crave  for  more  than  Love  for  womankind. 

No  weak  disciple  she,  to  dream  and  linger, 
Because  with  doubting  others  might  be  dumb  ; 

But  hers  to  cry,  erect  with  beck'ning  finger: 
I  lead  the  way,  my  Sisters  ! — will  you  come  ? 

x  '  (7) 


8  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

The  kindly  matron  of  the  modest  dwelling, 
Serene  in  simple  comfort  and  content, 

She  saw  as  one  her  higher  nature  quelling 
'Neath  Wrongs  which,  comprehended,  she'd 
resent. 

And,  paling,  flushing  with  the  bold  excitement 
Of  Teaching    that  as  Truth    which  was   un 
sought, 

She  hastened  onward  in  her  fierce  indictment 
Of  those  the  Truth  who  helped  not  as  they 
ought. 

"  I  seek  you,  Madame,"  was  her  grim  petition, 
"  To  ask  for  our  Memorial  your  name,  I 

As  that  of  one  whose  Sex's  recognition 
The  less  than  other's  Equal,  is  its  shame  ! 

"  The  idle,  empty,  listless  dolls  of  fashion, 
The  vain,  bedizened  puppets  of  the  ball, 

The  slaves  of  what  mankind  exalt  as  Passion, 
May  kiss  the  golden  fetters  of  their  thrall ; 

"  But  you,  a  woman,  bred  of  higher  feeling, 
And  conscious  of  a  soul  immortal,  too, 

Were  never  born  to  spend  a  life  in  kneeling, 
If  Man  lifts  not  to  equal  stature,  You ! 


The  Imperial  Votaress.  9 

"  Let  puling  Love  for  love-sick  children  answer, 
And  servile  household  duties  for  the  drudge  ; 

Not  Man's  time-serving  poet  and  romancer, 
But  Woman's  self,  was  made  for  Woman's 
judge. 

"  No  longer  waiting  on  our  master's  pleasure, 
To  take  the  power  he  gives  to  us,  or  pelf, 

We  claim  the  Right  our  own  rewards  to  measure, 
And  e'en  to  cast  the  Ballot  with  himself !" 

The  Matron,  heeding  all  that  had  been  spoken, 
From  quiet  meditation  raised  her  head ; 

One  moment  kept  the  silence  soft  unbroken, 
And  then,  with  look  and  smile  peculiar,  said  : 

"  If  painful  seemeth  my  complete  refusing 
Your  Suffrage  Right  Memorial  to  sign, 

Take  consolation  from  my  bolder  choosing 
A  far  more  daring  method  and  design. 

"  While  you  are  asking  for  the  poor  concession 
Of  right  to  vote  with  Men,  the  same  as  they, 

'Tis  left  for  me,  by  slow  and  sure  progression, 
To  cast  Two  precious  ballots  in  a  day !" 


io  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

As  Ccelia,  frowning,  stood  aloof  and  rigid, 
To  hear  her  cause  and  calling  made  a  jest, 

One  gentle  look  she  caught — and  was  less  frigid, 
And    something    mutely-tender    stirred    her 
breast. 

A  hand  inviting  mildly  came  to  meet  her, 
And,  ere  she  could  resist  it,  she  was  led 

To  where  the  vision,  fairy-like,  to  greet  her 
Was  e'en  a  tiny  morsel  of  a  bed. 

With  silent  touches  dainty  curtains  lifted, 
As  though  their  fleecy  folding  held  a  noise, 

She  saw,  beyond  the  snowy  portal  rifted, 
In  loving  clasp  asleep,  Twin  Baby-boys. 

And,  smiling  fondly,  spoke  the  happy  mother: 
"In  these,  the  Rights  that  Nature  makes  my 
own, 

I  live  and  rule  the  peer  of  Man,  my  brother, 
From  humblest  thatch  of  shelter,  to  the  throne ! 

"  He,  kneeling  knightly,  in  a  love  the  purest, 
Was  vassal  to  the  Kingdom  these  should  bring ; 

Without  them  I  were  poorer  than  the  poorest, 
And  with  them  I  am  richer  than  a  King ! 


The  Imperial  Votaress.  1 1 

"  To  Husband,  Children,  I  as  Woman  loyal, 
Resign  my  own  dominion  of  my  life, 

And  they  return  it  doubly  told,  and  royal, 
In  higher  reign  of  Mother  and  of  Wife. 

"  By  fearless  battle  with  the  Right's  offender, 
These  Boys  of  ours  their  father's  own  shall 
seem  ; 

By  manly  strength  to  man  and  woman  tender, 
In  gentler  likeness  1  shall  be  supreme. 

"  The  Natures  mingling  in  a  blest  Communion, 
Ere  yet  their  lives,  its  glory,  were  begun, 

Shall  dwell  together  in  their  brother  union, 
To  blend  their  parents,  Equal,  into  One. 

<l  If,  growing  grandly  unto  manhood's  station, 
Their  father's  spotless  honors  theirs  should  be, 

From  all  that  makes  them  noble  to  the  nation, 
Shall  come  a  crown  of  glory  unto  Me. 

"  And  when,  the  freeman's  sov'reign  moment 
reaching, 

Their  Votes  to  purpose  worthy  they  consign, 
By  all  that  holds  them  true  to  Mother-teaching, 

The  Ballots  they  deposit  shall  be  Mine  I" 


12  Studies  in  Stanzas 

Thus  speaking,  softly,  and  with  fervent  feeling. 
Her  eyes  upon  her  darlings  in  their  bed, 

She  saw  not  where  the  other  forth  was  stealing, 
With  downcast  eyelids,  too,  and  drooping  head. 

Oh,  spirit  fairer,  and  of  subtler  reason  ! 

Oh,  Woman,  first  in  Man's  supremest  grace ! 
His  rule  is  but  his  loyalty  or  treason, 

To  yours  beside  the  cradle  of  our  race. 


Family  Reading.  13 


FAMILY  READING. 

AN  American  male  parent,  unto  his  babes  said  he  : 
"  Come  hither,  pretty  little  ones,  and  sit  on  either 

knee, 
And  tell  me  what  you've  lately  heard  your  mother 

read,  and  me?" 

In  his  fath€rly  assurance,  and  fond,  parental  way, 
He  wanted  to  discover  what  the  innocents  would 

say 
About   the   Missionary-book   they'd    heard    the 

other  day. 

Full  of  glee  spake  young  Alonzo,  all  legs  and 

curly  hair, 
"  You  yead  about  the  man  they  hung,  and  all  the 

people  there  ; 
And  mamma  yead  the  funny  part,  of  how  it  made 

him  swear." 


1 4  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Joining  quickly  in,  cried  Minnie — all  waist  and 

dimpled  neck : 
"  It  wasn't  half  so  funny,  though,  as  that  about 

the  check 
They  caught  somebody  forging,  'cause  he  was  so 

green,  I  'speck." 

"  But  the  thing  I  liked  the  bestest,"  Alonzo  piped 

amain, 
"  Was  how  somebody  yunned  away,  and  won't 

come  back  again, 
And  tookt  somebody^s  wife  with  him  upon  a  yail 

yoad  train."  • 

"  Then  you  wasn't  list'ning,  'Lonzo,"  came  swift 

from  Minnie,  small, 
"  When  papa  read  about  the  girl  that  tookt  her 

only  shawl, 
And  wrapt  a  baby  up  in  it,  and  left  it  in  a  hall." 

"  Oh,  I  wa'n't,  hey  ?  "  trilled  Alonzo,  dismayed  to 

be  outdone ; 
"  I'm  go'n'  to  learn  to  yead,  myself ;  and  you  can 

have  the  Sun  ; 
And  I'll  yead  Herald  *  Personals,'  and  never  tell 

you  one ! " 


Family  Reading.  15 

The  American  male  parent,  his  hair  arose  on  end ; 
On  either  knee  an  infant  form  he  did  reverse  and 

bend, 
And  from  their  little  mouths  straightway  made 

dismal  sounds  ascend. 


1 6  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


"SIMILIA  SIMILIBUS  CURANTUR," 

Miss  Dora  Delaine,  of  West  Livingston  place — 
A  rose  in  her  bloom  and  a  lily  in  grace — 
Fell  sick,  in  an  hour,  of  what  none  could  define, 
But  wiseacres  called  going  into  decline. 

It  happened  this  way :  on  the  night  of  the  ball 
To  Russia's  Grand  Duke,  young  Alexis  the  tall. 
While  Music  and  Mirth,  fairy  twins  as  they  are, 
Were  paying  their  court  to  the  son  of  the  Czar, 
And  lights  sparkling  endless,  and  jewels  and 

flow'rs 

Lent  luster  and  hue  to  the  wings  of  the  hours, 
Ere  yet  her  proud  eyes  lost  the  fire  of  their 

glance, 
Our  Dora  turned  faint  in  a  pause  of  the  dance. 

The  heat,  or  the  crowd,  or  excitement,  'twas  said, 
Thus  made  in  a  moment  her  cheeks  like  the  dead  ; 


Similia  Similibus  Curantur.  17 

And  ices,  and  essences  pungent,  and  fans 
Were  proffered,  and  fluttered  ;  and  various  plans 
Were  hinted  for  gaining  more  air ;  but  she  sighed 
The  single  word  "  Home  ! "  and  would  not  be 
denied. 

Papa  and  mamma,  when  the  carriage  was  called, 
Bore  homeward   poor   Dora,    all   muffled   and 

shawled ; 

And  not  from  that  night  was  she  ever  the  same 
Bright  spirit  of  health  ;  but  as  languid  and  tame 
And  dull  as  a  bird  that  refuses  to  sing, 
And  droops  in  his  cage  with  his  head  in  his  wing. 

At  first  it  was  thought  the  affection  was  slight, 
Some  freak  of  a  chill,  or  of  lacing  too  tight ; 
But  when  to  her  face  there   returned   not  its 

bloom, 

And  listless  and  pale  she  remained  in  her  room, 
The  family  doctor  was  summoned  to  see 
Whatever  the  matter  could  possibly  be. 

To    humor  her    mood — which  was   rather  ill- 
bred- 
He  came  as  her  friend,  not  physician,  he  said ; 


1 8  St^ld^es  in  Stanzas. 

And,  having  first  talked  of  the  weather  and  news, 
Remarked,  that  he  feared  Miss  Delaine  had  "  the 

blues," 
And   hoped,  for  the  sake   of    herself    and   her 

friends, 
She'd   take   a    prescription   of    tincture  which 

tends 

To  fuse  with  its  iron  the  blood,  and  give  tone — 
"  O,  pshaw  !  "   exclaimed   Dora,  "  do  leave    me 

alone ! 

I  hate  your  old  drugs.!  "  and  the  pointed  rebuff 
Offended  the  doctor,  who  left  in  a  huff. 

Two  other  practitioners,  stately  and  grave, 
Appeared  in  their  turns  and  their  evidence  gave  : 
"  Digestive  inertia,"  said  one  ;  "  and  for  you 
Some  acid  sulphuric,  diluted,  will  do." 
"  It's  nervous-pulmonic,"  £he  other  observed  ; 
"  Take  Jink's  Hypo-phosphates,  and  don't  be  un 
nerved." 

"  I'm  well!  "  Dora  cried,  in  hysteric  revulse — 
" I  wont  show  my  tongue,  and  you  shrfrit  feel 
my  pulse ! " 


Similia  Similibus  Curantur.  19 

Her  father  perplexed,  between  anger  and  painr 
Bethought   him   at   last  of  young    Doctor   Mi 
graine, — 
Who  came  from  the  South,  when  the  fighting 

was  done, 

To  practice  in  Gotham,  where  fortunes  are  won, — 
And,  calling  him  in,  laid  a  hand  on  his  knee, 
And  said  :  "  You  will  find,  sir,  my  daughter  to  be 
Convinced  she  is  well,  'spite  of  all  you  can  say ; 
Yet  dwindling  and  peaking  and  pining  away." 

"  I've  heard  of  the  case,  and  have  seen  Miss  De 
laine, 

And  went  to  the  ball,"  answered  Doctor  Migraine; 
Nor  spoke  any  more  till  he  entered  the  room 
Where  Dora  was  drooping  in  silence  and  gloom. 

"  A  doctor,  again !  "  was  her  sigh  of  despair — 
"  Oh,  when  will  it  end  ?  "     He  selected  a  chair, 
And,  seating  himself  with  his  face  to  her  own, 
Replied  :  "  You  can  tell  that  yourself,  and  alone ! 
My  words  shall  be  few,  and  as  plain  as  my  art ; 
You're  sick,  Miss  Delaine,,  with  disease  of  the 
heart." 


2o  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

'Twas   rather  the  tone  than  the  language  that 

made 

Miss  Dora  breathe  quick,  as  she  said,  half  afraid, 
"  Why,  what  can  you  mean  ?  "     He  was  swift  to 

reply, 
"  That  night,  at  the  ball,  very  near  you  was  I." 

She  stared  and  grew  white,  and  the  speaker  went 

on  : 

"  I  can't  say  I  saw,  but  I  heard  what  was  done  ; 
One  moment  you  beamed — (*  But  Montgomery  Sill 
'S  engaged  to  'Bel  Vaughn  ') — in  the  next  you  were 

ill ! " 

She  started  to  rise,  with  the  tears  on  her  face — 
"  Your  words  are  insulting!"     He  bowed  from 

his  place — 
"  One  moment,"  he  begged,  "  till  I've  said  what  I 

may; 
Then  chide,  if  you  choose,  and  I'll  hasten  away. 

"  The  words  I  o'erheard  with  yourself  at  the  ball, 
Are  not  more  for  me  than  for  you  to  recall 
With  pride  or  delight — (if  indeed  you  are  still 
Inclined    to    waste    thought    on    Montgomery 
Sill)  ;- 


Similia  Similibus   Curantur.  21 

For  Isabel  Vaughn,  with  a  friend  of  my  heart 
Once  played  such  a  cruel,  perfidious  part, 
That  now,  even  now,  when  his  care's  at  an  end, 
I  feel,  and  am  spurned,  and  betrayed  with   my 
friend ! 

"  A  guest  from  the  South  at  the  Springs,  in  a  time 
When  fortune  was  his  in  his  own  sunny  clime, 
He  bowed  to  her  charms,  nor  resisted  the  spell 
That  urged  him  to  woo  her,  the  fair  Isabel  ! 
His  suit  was  accepted  ;  they  parted,  to  meet 
No  more  until  war,  like  a  tempest  of  sleet, 
Had  blighted  his  fortunes,  with  others,  ah  me  ! 
When  Sherman  passed  through  on  his  March  to 

the  Sea. 

And  then,  when  he  offered  release,  in  his  pride, 
To  her  who  had  promised  her  hand  as  his  bride, 
She  answered  the  note  with  this  stab  of  the  pen — 
1  'Twas  but  a  flirtation — 'tis  ages  since  then  ! ' 

"  And  now  she  is  pledged  to  Montgomery  Sill ! 
The  friend  of  my  heart,  lives  he  under  it  still  ? 
He  does  ;  and  confides  to  Miss  Dora  Delaine 
He  shares  her  disease,  and  his  name  is  Migraine !  " 


22  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

You  see  how  it  was  :  they  were  surely  a  pair, 
This  southron  ill  used,  and  the  sorrowful  fair ; 
And  all  that  remains  for  a  mortal  to  guess 
This  hint  from  a  letter  may  briefly  express : 

"  My  friends  in  the  South  "  (wrote  the  doctor  one 

day), 

"  You  know  I'm  an  allopath,  hot,  in  my  way, 
And  that,  hitherto,  I've  belonged  to  the  school 
Esteeming  a  rival  a  knave  or  a  fool ; 
But,  lately,  I've  had  such  a  wonderful  case, 
That,  sooner  than  lose  it,  I've  dared  the  disgrace 
Of  making  the  point,  beyond  questioning,  sure, 
That  like  is  for  like  an  infallible  cure ! 
My  patient,  the  loveliest  queen  of  a  girl 
That  ever  drew  kings  in  the  chain  of  a  curl, 
Was  fading  away  with  that  exquisite  smart 
I'd  carried  for  years  in  m}r  own  weary  heart ; 
And  after  due  visits,  by  no  means  for  pelf, 
For  life  I've  prescribed — wish  me  joy  in't ! — my 
self!" 


Fiat  Justitia.      .  23 


FIAT  JUSTITIA. 

HAND  me  here  my  cap  and  bells, 

Throw  the  motley  o'er  me  ; 
Then  from  out  the  prison  cells, 

Drag  the  wretch  before  me  ! 
I'll,  in  public  virtue's  name, 

Bring  him  to  repentance ; 
Make  him  feel  a  felon's  shame, 

And  pronounce  his  sentence. 


Now,  you  villain !   look  at  me, 

Hear  my  words  consistent; 
Yours  the  deadly  sin  we  see, 

Lately,  too  persistent. 
If  you  weep,  'tis  guilt  confessed, 

Worse  than  can  be  pardoned ; 
If  you  smile,  the  fact  expressed, 

Is,  that  you  are  hardened. 


24  Stttdies  in  Stanzas. 

Crime  it  was  that  made  your  crime — 

Say  you — but  its  blackness 
Finds  no  censure  in  a  time 

Rank  with  moral  slackness — 
He  you  slew  your  all  had  stole  ? — 

Why,  you  simple  noddy ! 
He  would  only  kill  a  soul ; 

You  have  killed  a  body. 

It  for  that  same  first  offense 

Life  itself  must  answer, 
Who'd  be  living  one  hour  hence  f 

Tell  me,  if  you  can,  sir ! 
Possibly  a  saint  or  two, 

And  the  baby-creatures ; 
Few  besides  could  'scape  the  rue ; 

No,  not  even  preachers. 

Tradesmen  trade  in  weaker  souls, 
Lovers  pick  and  buy  them, 

Lawyers  make  them  lie  in  scrolls, 
Judge  and  jury  try  them ; 


Fiat  Justitia.  25 

Priests  prepare  them  for  the  flight 

Doctors  do  insure  them, 
All  combine  to  seal  their  plight, 

None  to  guard  and  cure  them. 

He  you  slew  would  kill  a  soul  ? — 

Why,  you  simple  noddy  ! 
By  that  rule,  upon  the  whole, 

You'd  kill  anybody.  . 
Hanged  be  you,  and  then  entombed, 

For  your  wicked  capers — 
Tried  by  whom — you  ask — and  doomed  ? 

By  the  daily  papers  ! 


26  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


GRANT. 

"THE  King  is  dead— long  live  the  King!"  they 

clamor, 

When  moves  a  Crown  from  falling  head  to  high, 
To  throw  o'er  frail  humanity  a  glamour, 
That,  raised  to  Royalty,  it  cannot  die. 

The  golden  circlet,  flaming  gems  of  ages, 
By  craven  homage  held  in  upper  air 

Eternal  shines  through  long  historic  pages, 
A  symboled  stamp  of  godhead  deathless  there. 

No  fable  ours,  like  this,  to  gild  immortal 
The  name  and  office  first  in  peace  and  strife ; 

They  are  but  men  who  pass  our  loftiest  portal, 
And  perish  from  it  in  the  midst  of  life. 

By  deeds  of  honor,  duty  or  demerit, 

They  make  their  crowns,  of  pure  or  baser  ore, 
To  wear  what  they  of  their  own  worth  inherit, 

Or  sink,  all  crownless,  to  be  known  no  more. 


Grant.  27 

To  thee,  our  Soldier-President,  returning 

Unto  the  ranks  from  seat  supreme  of  sway, 
What  meed  shall  give  thy  Country  as  thine  earn 
ing, 
When  blinding  partisanry  fades  away  ? 

From  clouds  of  War  that  thine  own  sword  had 
riven ; 

Ere  yet  thy  head  above  their  gloom  was  clear ; 
While  rang  for  thee,  or  thee  arraigned,  to  heaven 

Thy  troopers'  shouting  and  the  widows'  tear  ; 

The  great  Republic  summoned  thee  to  station 
Made  doubly  great  by  thy  victorious  aid, 

When  through  the  blood-stained  highways  of  the 

Nation 
The  long-roll  answered  to  the  cannonade. 

By  battle's  seething  thunderbolt  ignited, 
Columbia's  natal  planet  earliest  burned  ; 

Twas  to  the  sword  her  virgin  love  was  plighted, 
And  to  the  sword  the  precious  trust  returned. 


28  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

She  called  in  no  uncertain  tones  of  heeding, 
That  thou  should'st   bear  thy  laurels  to  the 
place 

Where  martyr  blood  of  Mercy  slain  was  pleading 
For  justice  panoplied  in  sterner  grace. 


A  loyal  Captain,  trained  to  follow  orders, 
A  man  to  them  obeying  as  to  fate, 

Thy  marching  answer  took  thee  o'er  the  borders 
Between  the  camp-fire  and  the  halls  of  state. 


A  Captain  true,  unused  to  Party's  scheming, 
Nor  deeper  versed  in  wiles  to  meet  its  own, 

As  in  the  field  for  half-lost  Fight's  redeeming, 
In  Faction's  feud  thou  stood'st  almost  alone. 


What   marvel,  then,   that  carping  tongues   as 
saulted 

The  silent  leader,  open  as  the  day  ; 
That    bold    Vainglory  thought   the  Chief    had 

halted 
When  firm  he  stood,  a  lion,  in  its  way ! 


Grant.  29 

Where  quailed  the  will  at  Donelson  the  victor ; 

O'er  Vicksburg's  walls  of  steel  and  flame  no 

less ; 
Inexorable  the  Republic's  lictor, 

To  bear  her  fasces  through  the  Wilderness? 


In  War  a  bolt  with  no  resounding  thunder 
To  cry  the  havoc  of  its  dread  release, 

Thy  plain,  straight  way,  sententious  to  our  won 
der, 
A  noiseless  mastery,  prevailed  in  Peace. 


No  word  from  lips  inscrutable  of  omen, 
For  good  or  evil,  answered  hatred's  plea  ; 

For  friends  thy  hand,  and  for  the  conquered  foe- 

man 
A  Brother-Soldier's  tacit  chivalry. 


And  fared  the  Land  the  worse  for  thine  endeavor 
To  fill  with  Acts  unspoken  Duty's  part? 

A  modest  hero  she  had  known  thee,  ever, 
And  for  thy  motives  took  thee  to  her  heart. 


30  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

The  placeman's  clangor  rising  to  her  hearing, 
From  thee  to  tear  the  State's  potential  scroll, 

Her  voice  responsive,  mighty  and  unfearing, 
Again  acclaimed  thee  at  the  Capitol. 

Not  thine  the  fault  that  made  this  added  glory 
A  prize  attained  through  uncongenial  strife, 

With  one  long  living  the  sublimest  story 
To  end,  ignobly  wiled,  a  noble  life. 

Alas  !  for  him,  the  Scribe  of  simple  manner, 
In  zeal  for  failing  fellow-mortal  brave, 

Lured  from  the  grove  to  bear  a  periled  banner, 
And  find  beneath  its  fated  folds  the  grave. 

Not  yet  the  laurel  knows  the  peaceful  zero 
To  bid  the  humbler  bay  above  it  bloom  ; 

Still  gives  the  court  its  honors  to  the  hero, 
And  to  the  sage  derision  and  a  tomb. 

And  better  thus,  despite  untold  complaining, 
The  place  for  valor  is  the  sov'reign  seat, 

There  to  be  swift  and  mighty  in  maintaining 
The  voice  upraised  by  wisdom  in  the  street. 


Grant.  31 

To  each  its  office,  noble  by  contrasting ; 

A  grace  of  empire  shared  alike  by  each  ; 
First  in  the  van  the  man  of  action  casting 

A  shade,  as  shines,  behind,  the  man  of  speech. 

So  trusted  Twice,  when  Sage  and  Knave,  com 
bining, 
Had  sought  thy  fall  with  threat  and  witless 

jibe, 

And  sophist  Spleen  had  brought  to  thy  defining 
The  venal  newsman's  dastard  diatribe; — 

Let  finger  touch  the  record's  line  revealing 
One    deed   thine    honor's   conscience    should 

atone  ; — 

If  friends  were  false,  then  thine  the  honest  feeling, 
And  theirs  the  sin  that  made  the  shame  their 
own. 

Thy  hand  had  wrought  full  many  a  noble  action, 
To  hide  what  simple  faith  was  erring  there, 

Had  not  the  fell,  ambitious  mask  of  Faction, 
Turned  stone  before  thee  in  the  Senate's  chain 


32  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

For  peace  to  govern  raised  supreme  o'er  others, 
As  erst  a  captain  war's  behest  to  fill ; 

Not  of  thyself  a  ruler  of  thy  brothers : 
By  trust  of  theirs  a  captain,  only,  still ; — 

In  their  approval  mercifully  binding 
The  wounds  an  angry,  erring  brother  knew  ; 

Something  in  him  to  manhood  loyal  finding, 
That  to  his  own,  or  right  or  wrong,  was  true  ;— 

No  gain  thou   had'st  of   wealth — save  for  thy 

Nation 

Of  Gold  to  make  her  pledge  and  promise  good  ; 
Thou    wentest    forth   from   thankless    cares   of 

station, 
By  thine  own  friends  scarce  justly  understood. 

But  these  the  glories  bringing  fame  upon  thee 
In  future  years,  in  clearer  majesty  : 

The  patriot's  truth,  the  soldier's  might,  that  won 

thee 
The  heart  of  Lincoln  and  the  sword  of  Lee. 


Owgoost  and  Mahree*  33 


OWGOOST  AND  MAHREE. 

ON  Newport  sands,  at  eventide, 
Walked  youth  and  maiden  side  by  side : 
She  wore  the  latest, 

The  latest  style  of  dress ; 
And  he — in  kids  and  tall  white  hat — 

Himself  did  thus  express  : 
"  Let  me  fan  you  ;  I'll  fan  you,  my  Mahree, 
For  scarcely  comes  a  breath  of  air  from  off  the 
beastly  sea." 

The  stars,  alone,  their  stroll  did  note, 
And  saw  them  reach  a  stranded  boat ; 
Soon  she  was  seated, 

Was  seated  thereupon : 
But  not  before,  unto  herself, 

She  thought  of  damage  done — 
"  O,  my  panier !  my  panier,  starched  and  shirred  .; 
To  sit  upon  a  hateful  boat  is  perfectly  absurd !  " 

He  fanned  her  brow,  and  sighed,  and  said  : 
"  I  wonder  if  your  pa's  abed  ? — 


34  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Say  ain't  it  jolly, 

So  awful  jolly,  though, 
To  have  him  think  you  do  not  care 

A  straw  for  me,  you  know ! 
But,  how  can  you,  how  can  you  be  so  deuc'd 
Unmoved  at  what's  so  deucid  slow  for  me,  your 
own  Owgoost?" 

Upon  the  beach  a  gaiter  neat, 
In  pretty  petulance  did  beat ; 

Then  she  looked  upward, 
Looked  upward  with  a  smile, 

A  lovely  blush,  unseen  by  him, 

Upon  her  face  the  while  : 
"  Now,  you  man,  you !  you  man,   you ! "   cried 

Mahree ; 
"  How  utterly  ridiculous  to  say  such  things  to 

me!" 

As  thus  they  cooed  upon  the  shore, 
There  came  a  sudden  angry  roar: 
It  was  her  father ; 

Her  father,  the  old  man, 
Who'd  shuffled  down  from  his  hotel, 
The  figures  twain  to  scan. 


Owgoost  and  Mahree.  35 

Yes,  to  scan  you,  to  scan  you,  loving  pair ; 
And  of  his   wrath  do  you,    Mahree,  and  you, 
Owgoost,  be  ware ! 

"  That  fellow  make  return  your  fan, 

And  come  with  me,  Miss  Mary  Ana ! 

Now  you,  get  out,  sir ! 

Get  out,  Augustus  Jones  ! 
Nor  let  me  hear  a  word  from  you, 

If  you  would  save  your  bones ! 
Have  her?     Dang  ye !  why  dang  ye  for  a  fool! 
You're  on  a  salary,  and  she  goes  back  to  board 
ing  school." 


36  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


WATTS  IN  A  PANIC. 

O  ENVY  not  the  poor  his  pride, 

Though  rich  in  stocks  and  bank  thou  art, 
Nor  deem  the  purse  with  naught  inside 

Assureth  a  contented  heart ; 
For  ne'er  to  call  a  cent  thine  own 

Is  but  a  mortal  still  to  be, 
And  oft  a  sting  of  grief  is  known 

Unto  the  greatest  penury. 


Though  in  the  flaunting  pauper's  lot, 

No  mad'ning  railroad  shares  intrude, 
Although  the  unmoneyed  mind  is  not 

With  wild  Trust  Companies  imbued ; 
Yet  "  North  Pacific  "  unpossessed 

Can  scarce  for  perfect  peace  avail, 
And  more  is  needed  to  be  blessed 

Than  not  to  know  "  Pacific  Mail." 


Watts  in  a  Panic.  37 

The  ever  impecunious  soul, 

Without  a  penny  to  his  name, 
In  jeering  poverty  may  roll, 

And  make  thee  wistful  for  the  same, 
While  at  his  spirit's  deepest  core 

Exists,  perchance,  a  sadder  blank 
Than  if  he  owned  thy  hoarded  store, 

And  had  it  in  a  savings  bank. 

Then  bear  the  sorrows  of  thy  wealth 

With  manly  fortitude  and  tact ; 
"  Northwestern  "  leaves  thee  yet  thy  health, 

And  "  Western  Union  "  may  react. 
More  ways  to  happiness  there  are 

Than  not  to  be  a  dollar  worth, 
And  "  Erie  "  held  to  wait  for  par, 

Excelleth  beggary  from  birth, 


38  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


PLAY  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

THE  lingering,  last  orchestral  swell 

Along  the  crowded  lobbies  drifted, 
When,  at  the  prompter's  signal  bell, 

The  curtain  from  the  stage  was  lifted ; 
And  then,  the  flutter  of  applause 

Was  not  that  favorite  might  be  bolstered, 
But  murmured  through  the  house  because 

So  finely  was  the  scene  upholstered. 


A  glowering  husband  strode  and  fumed, 

To  think  upon  his  wife  unstable, 
While  she  in  pensive  beauty  bloomed 

Beside  a  really  lovely  table  ; 
What  time  a  certain  young  Alphonse, 

Whose  flirting  caused  connubial  cholers, 
Stood  leaning  near  a  statue  bronze, 

Worth,  easily,  a  hundred  dollars. 


I  Play  of  the  Period.  39 

The  general  story  seemed  to  be 

Of  marriage  that  had  been  too  hasty, 
And  ran  its  round  of  misery 

'Mongst  chairs  and  sofas  rich  and  tasty  ; 
"  I  love  you  not !  "  the  lady  said  ; 

"  And,  knowing  that,  'tis  all  you  can  know  ;" 
Then  from  her  husband's  pleading  fled, 
And  fainted  near  the  grand  piano. 

From  this  ensued  a  meeting  grim, 

Between  the  husband  and  the  lover, 
Within  a  park  of  verdure  prim, 

Where  chaste  settees  were  spread  all  over. 
A  bullet,  planted  in  his  face, 

Cut  short  Alphonse's  life  of  honey, 
And  sprawled  him  by  a  marble  vase 

That  must  have  cost  a  mint  of  ^  money. 

When  next  appeared  the  lady  fair, 
She  was  declining  with  consumption, 

Upon  a  'broidered  lounge,  so  rare 
To  guess  its  price  would  be  presumption ; 


40  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

And  when,  at  last,  for  love  she  died, 
With  husband,  priest  and  poodle  near  her, 

The  scene  was  greatly  glorified 
By  an  imported,  spacious  mirror. 

If  such  was  not  the  plot  exact, 

It  seemed  the  meaning  of  the  bathos, 
And,  judged  by  any  sober  fact, 

Had  equal  want  of  pith  and  pathos. 
'Twas  not  in  captious  spirit  rash 

That  people  grave,  when  come  an  end  did, 
Pronounced  it  most  immoral  trash  ; — 

But  then  the  furniture  was  splendid! 


Recognition.  41 


RECOGNITION. 

To  his  Vassal  wrote  the  king : 

When  thy  Citys  liegemen  greet  me. 
One  shall  be  amongst  them  there, 
Greatest  of  the  great  to  meet  me. 

Thou  mayst  know  him  by  his  air  ; 
See  that  thou  his  place  prepare  / 

Through  the  city  rang  the  words, 

By  a  thousand  voices  spoken  : 
"  Loyal  in  our  watch  are  we 
For  the  mighty  comer's  token  ; 

We  shall  know  him  when  we  see 
That  unto  us  cometh  he." 

Thus,  at  every  trumpet's  sound, 

To  the  gates  the  people  thundered : 
Scanned  the  prince  or  priest  that  came 
With  his  lordly  train,  and  wondered 
If  'twas  he  whose  lofty  fame 
Put  the  greatest  still  to  shame  ? 


Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Rode  the  viceroys  of  the  land 

From  afar  into  the  City, 
With  a  courtly  following, 
Heroes  mailed  and  scholars  witty ; 
Each  of  worth  to  tilt  or  sing, 
For  a  prize  before  the  King. 

"  Greatest  these  of  all  the  Great ! " 

Swelled  the  peoples'  loud  hosanna ; 
"  Greater  mortals  there  are  nought 
In  the  fane,  or  under  banner. 

Who  of  them  has  highest  caught 
Honor  in  our  Monarch's  thought  ? 

So  the  quest  and  question  grew, 

In  the  maze  of  rival  glory ; 
This  the  one,  or  that,  alone, 
Chief  of  future  song  and  story  ; 
Till  the  distant  highway  shone 
With  the  splendor  of  the  Throne. 

Panoplied  in  pomp  sublime, 

Like  the  sun,  our  Monarch  nears  men ; 
Plain  and  mountain  blaze  and  shine 

With  his  chariots  and  spearsmen. 


Recognition.  43 

o 

Sound  the  trump  and  form  the  line ; 
Who  the  Greatest  he'll  divine  ! 

As  the  sea  to  kiss  the  shore, 

Rolled  the  myriad  loyal-hearted 

Through  the  gates  to  meet  the  King, 

Where  the  hills  and  valley  parted  ; 

Praise  unto  his  name  to  bring, 

That  should  lift  it  like  a  wing. 

He  descendeth  from  his  car, 

Where  the  lords  and  priests  assemble  • 
Lo,  the  mighty  meet  his  glance, 

In  their  haughty  pride,  and  tremble . 
Like  the  glitter  of  a  lance 
Is  the  look  he  turns  askance. 

Spake  the  Vassal  in  his  fear, 

While  his  heart  beat  fast  and  faster  : 
"  Of  my  province  greatest  are 
These,  thy  slaves,  my>Lord  and  Master, 
Whose  the  noblest  natal  star, 
Thou  hast  visioned  from  afar ! " 


44  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

From  the  princes  turned  the  King, 

And,  in  wave  of  his  example, 
Back  recoiled  the  City's  host, 
In  a  heaving  swirl  and  trample ; 

Beating  down  a  wanderer  tossed 
On  its  violence,  and  lost. 

Torn  and  trod  by  meanest  heel, 

Of  his  own  unknown,  unknowing ; 
To  behold  the  Greatest,  led 
By  the  people  in  their  going — 

O'er  him  bowed  the  King,  and  said 
"  He  is  here — and  he  is  dead!  '*, 


Reconstructed.  45 


RECONSTRUCTED. 

I  have  never  seen  a  Southern  woman  who  had  been  "recon 
structed."—  Jefferson  Davis  s  Speech  at  White  Sulphur  Springs, 
>a.,  1873. 

INTO  Possumleigh,  South  Carolina,  renowned  for 

secession, 

When  ended  a  war  that  for   bitterness  chal 
lenged  comparison, 

Marched  a  federal  force,  with  its  colonel,  in  mar 
tial  progression, 

To  camp  in  the  same,  for  indefinite  time,  as  a 
garrison. 

They  were  angrily  viewed,  on  their  entry,  as  all 

had  expected, 
By  those  of  the  place  who  had  suffered  from 

battle's  calamity ; 

But  a  woman  it  was  their  protection  most  fierce 
ly  rejected, 

And  scorned  to  the  last  their  commander's  pro 
fession  of  amity. 


46  .         Studies  in  Stanzas. 

She  had  solemnly  vowed,  at  the  sound  of  the 

earliest  cannon, 
To  hate,  while   she   lived,   ev'ry  Northerner 

bearing  a  bayonet ; 
And  declared,  when  the  rampart  of  Southland 

no  more  had  a  man  on, 

She'd  mount  it    herself,   and   her    life   as    a 
sacrifice  lay  on  it ! 

With  a  terrible  frown  of  disdain  for  the  people 

around  her — 

Who,  after  a  while,  took  the  regiment's  com 
pany  graciously — 
And  a  sentiment  still,  than  before,  in  its  hatred 

profounder, 

She  hurled  at  them  all  her  satirical  compli 
ments  spaciously : 

"You  may  loyally  cringe  in  the  dust  to  your 

merciful  masters, 

And  Yankees  receive  in  the  homes  they  have 
rendered  deplorable, 


Reconstructed.  47 

But  a  womanly  soul  rises  prouder  from  honor's 

disasters ; 

No  country  have  I  where  the  foe    we  have 
fought  is  adorable ! " 

To  some  family  friends  in  the  North,  in  a  city  of 

fashion, 
She  fled,  as  she  spoke,  from  her  home  and  her 

kindred,  indignantly ; 
And  they  heartily  gave  her  a  welcome,  in  spite 

of  her  passion, 

Nor  otherwise  took  her  excusable  wrath  than 
benignantly. 

In  a  drapery  homespun  and  sober,  she  came  on 

her  visit ; 

A  bonnet  that  seemed  of  the  style  of  the  Plio 
cene  period ; 
And  her  beautiful  hair,  having  no  one  to  fix  or 

to  friz  it, 

Was  gathered  as  though  it  belonged  to  the 
head  of  a  Nereid. 


48  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

With  a  wonderful  sense  of  the  means  that  were 

fitted  to  soften 

A  feminine  soul  in  a  frenzy  of  anger  political, 
Did   her  hostesses  take  her  to  seamstress    and 

milliner  often, 

And  tempt  her  to  give  to  the  same  her  atten 
tion  most  critical. 

Not  a  period  tedious  elapsed  e'er  she  visibly 

brightened, 
And  questioned  the  cost  of  each  dainty  and 

sumptuous  article ; 

At  the  old-fashioned  things  she  had  on  was  un 
speakably  frightened, 

And   showed  of    her  lately  resentful  disdain 
not  a  particle ; — 

Till  it   certainly    seemed    that   her  anger  was 

dying  within  her, 
As,  changing    her  robes  and   her  bonnet  for 

those  more  Parisian-like, 
It    was    morally   plain   that   her  temper  grew 

weaker  and  thinner, 

And  scorn  of  the  North  found  her  lips  prone 
to  meek  indecision-like. 


Reconstructed.  49 

So  the  marvelous  turn  in  her  feelings  went  on 

through  the  season, 
The  latest  of  styles  being  balm  to  her  bosom's 

avidity  ; 

While  the  enmity  cherished  so  lately,  and  scoff 
ing  at  reason, 

Gave  place  unto  love,  with  astonishing  light 
ning  rapidity. 

And  when,  finally,  home  to  the  Southland  her 

wardrobe  she  carried — 
The  silks  she  had  bought,  and  the  bonnet  so 

jaunty  and  blossomly, 
It  was,  probably,  dressed  in  the  same  that  she 

presently  married 

The     colonel    commanding   the    garrison    at 
Possumleigh. 


5°  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THAT  AWFUL  DAD. 

TIME — Noon.     SCENE — A  gorgeous  morning  room. 

Enter  EXEMPLARY  SON,  with  a  bottle  of  Vichy  in  one  hand,  and 
a  goblet  in  the  other. 

SON. 

UPON  my  word,  I'm  only  half  awake, 
And  so  this  flashy,  trashy  stuff  must  take. 
Oh,  my  poor  head  !  it's  quite  as  big  again 
As  that  which  I  in  church  reveal  to  men  ; 
And  I'm  so  thirsty  ! — really  this  must  stop, 
For  of  wild-oats  I've  reaped  an  overcrop. 
Instead  of  staying  out  o'  nights,  begad  ! 
I  ought,  at  times,  to  stay  at  home  with  dad, 
Or  else,  I  fear,  it's  more  than  ten  to  one 
He  will  forget  he  ever  had  a  son. 

Enter  NURSE. 

Well,  nurse,  how  now !  You've  doubtless  come 

to  say 
My  father  'd  like  to  bid  me  a  good-day. 


That  Awful  Dad.  51 

Make  some  excuse,  while  I  to  breakfast  get — 

I'm  hardly  fit,  you  know,  to  see  him  yet. 

He's  dressed,  of  course,  and  had  his  breakfast,  too, 

And  gone  his  morning  walk  with  Jane  and  you. 

I  hope  my  orders  you  see  fit  to  mark, 

That  when  you  wheel  him  up  around  the  park, 

You  let  him  not  with  other  old  men  play, 

Unless  their  nurses  are  with  them  to  stay. 

If  in  bad  company  he  chance  to  fall, 

I'll  have  to  blame  you,  mistress,  for  it  alL 

NURSE. 

Oh,  sir,  he's  mostly  just  as  good  as  gold  ; 
I  never  saw  a  better  man  that  old ; 
He  scarcely  gives  a  whimper  or  a  pout, 
Though  two  more  teeth  of  his  have  just  come  out. 
But,  then,  old  men  must  be  old  men,  they  say  : 
And  I  surprised  him  only  yesterday, 
At  work  with  heaps  of  paper  and  a  quill, 
And — would  you  believe    me,  sir? — he'd  made 
his  will ! 

SON. 

His  WILL  !  oh,  horror  !     Nurse,  can  this  be  so  ? 
Go  bring  him  instant  hither.     Woman,  go  ! 

[Exit  NMRSV,  precipitately. 


52  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Am  I  awake  ?    His  will !  Well,  I  declare, 
What  next  will  fashionable  fathers  dare ! 
My  sisters  ought  to  be  with  him  more  strict, 
Instead  of  being  thus  so  derelict ! 
This  comes  because  to  whipping  they're  averse  , 
The  old  man's  left  to  servants  and  the  nurse ; 
No  wonder,  then,  he  does  as  he  may  please, 
Makes  wills,  and  chooses  his  own  legatees. 
I'll  stop  it,  though,  from  this  hour  forth,  if  I 
Have  need  the  rod,  in  person,  to  apply. 

Enter  NURSE,  wildly  agitated. 

Well,  nurse,  you've  brought  him,  surely,  have 
you  not  ? 

NURSE. 

Oh,  sir,  if  you'll  believe  the  turn  I've  got ! 
I  went  to  find  the  dear  old  creature,  straight, 
And  he'd  slipped  out  the  open  airy  gate. 
I  followed  after,  quick  as  I  could  run, 
And — oh,  good  lordy  ! — what  d'you  think  he'd 
done? 

SON. 

Not  gone  to  sell  his  bonds,  or  to  dispose 

Of  real  estate  ?-— Speak !  speak  !  my  reason  goes  f 


That  Awful  Dad.  53* 

NURSE. 

Much  worse  than  that !  Oh,  sir,  be  calm,  I  pray, 

Or  I  can't  tell  you  what  I  have  to  say  ; — 

The  next-door's  butler — which  his  name  is  Jack — 

Beheld  your  father  jump  into  a  hack 

Beside  a  lady  dressed  in  silk  and  fur, 

And — thinks  he's  run  away  to  marry  her ! 

SON  (tearing  his  hair). 

Blue  blood  and  brimstone  !  Thunderationment ! ! 
Arouse  the  house,  and  let  the  vale  be  rent ! 
Cry  madness  !  murder  !  lunacy !  and  law ! 
Call  out  the  press,  and  bid  it  wag  its  jaw ! 
A  father  weds  without  consent  of  son ! 
I'm  cheated,  crushed,  deserted,  and  undone ! 

Knocks  down  the  nurse;  smashes  all  the  furniture ;  tears  out  of 
the  house;  and  immediately  consults  his  lawyers  as  to  the  feasibil 
ity  of  the  breakage  of  wills  and  the  issuance  of  writs  de  lunatico 
inquirendo. 


54  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


WATCH  C^ESARISM. 

OUR  friend,  old  Mr.  Beat,  was  dead  ; 

We  walked  behind  his  bier, 
And  softly  to  each  other  said : — 
A  land  its  pride,  a  home  its  head, 

Lament  together  here. 

No  errors  of  his  own  had  he, 

Or  he  himself  belied  ; 
But  faults  in  others  he  could  see, 
And  grief  for  man's  iniquity 

Was  that  of  which  he  died. 


Beside  me,  clad  in  decent  black, 

With  grave  and  cleric  air, 
There  moved  a  man  who  sighed  "  Alack ! 
What  mortal  power  shall  bring  him  back, 

To  comfort  my  despair  ?  " 


Watch   Casarism.  55 

"He  was  my  perfect  moral  twin, 

In  wailing  virtue's  fall : 
And  saw  the  age  we're  living  in 
Is  wholly  given  up  to  sin, 

And  bitterness  and  gall. 

"  Like  him  I  weep  to  see  the  day  " — 

(He  sighed  it  with  a  sob), 
"  When  those  we've  trusted  go  astray 
From  out  the  straight  and  narrow  way, 

And  justice  is  a  job. 

"  Behold  our  hapless  native  land, 

To  ruin  given  o'er ; 
If  Credit  Mobilier  we  stand, 
With  back-pay  clinging  to  his  hand, 

The  statesman's  pure  no  more. 

"  Thus,  ever  since  the  war,  has  been 

The  nation's  swift  decline  ; 
In  man  nor  woman  can  be  seen 
The  honor,  innocence,  I  ween, 

Of  simpler  auld  lang  syne. 


".  5  6  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  Each  day  some  plundering1  scheme's  begun, 

Since  battle  flags  were  furled, 
For  earliest  issue  of  the  Sun, 
And  Tribune  s  rather  later  one, 

And,  latest,  for  the  World. 

"  The  very  air  is  full  of  crime, 

Corruption  stalks  abroad ; 
The  good  old  Democratic  time 
Held  no  Ben  Butler  in  its  prime, 

Nor  any  kind  of  fraud. 

"  But,  oh !  my  friend  "—and  here  he  fell 

Upon  my  neck  with  groans, 
"  Our  direst  woe  is  yet  to  tell — 
Who  reads  the  Herald  knows  it  well, 

And  feels  it  in  his  bones — 

"  The  people  in  their  folly  tame, 

Will  wake  at  last  to  rue 
The  great  republic's  crowning  shame, 
And  C&sarism  is  its  name !    *    *    * 

It  breaks  my  heart.    *    *    *    Adieu!" 


Watch  Casarism.  57 

He  leaves  me,  in  a  headlong  flight, 

His  face  of  tears  a  blotch  ; 
O,  soul  of  peerless  moral  height ! 
Why  pass  thus  fieetly  from  my  sight  ? — 

Law  bless  me — where s  my  watch! 


Studies  in  Stanzas. 


S  U  M  N  E  R  . 

March  n,  1874. 

HE  passes  silent  to  his  peers 

In  that  still  chamber,  dim  and  vast, 
Where  sit,  invincible  of  years, 

The  uncrowned  monarchs  of  the  past ; 
A  grander  embassy  to  know, 

In  that  far  country  overhead, 
Than  soul  inheriteth  below 

The  white-robed  senate  of  the  dead. 

In  pageant  eloquent  of  grief, 

A  mourning  nation  at  his  tomb 
But  see  a  phantom  of  the  chief, 

Through  life's  last  mystery  of  gloom ; 
Another  added  unto  those, 

For  the  great  battle's  shadow  born, 
Who  feel,  unguerdoned  by  the  rose, 

The  mortal  anguish  of  the  thorn. 


Sumner. 

A  mighty  memory  has  gone 

From  the  full  volume  of  the  hour, 
The  less  a  majesty  passed  on 

Than  something  measureless  of  pow'r ; 
A  spirit  missing  from  the  page 

That  yet  incarnateth  the  song  ; 
A  presence  parted  from  the  stage, 

Though  moves  the  drama  still  along. 

The  lighted  beacon  of  his  soul 

Shone  o'er  the  billows  chill  and  dark, 
When  freedom,  fainting  for  a  goal, 

In  storm  and  thunder  sought  the  ark ; 
And,  paling  gently  in  the  ray 

Of  peaceful  morning  from  afar, 
Was  lost  ineffable  in  day, 

To  glow  eternal  as  a  star. 

His  country,  bowing  at  his  grave, 
Can  yield  a  tender  thought  of  grace 

To  him,  impassionate,  who  gave 
The  blow  that  sanctified  his  face  ; 


Studies  in  Stanzas. 

But,  well  remembering  the  zeal 
Wherewith  he  bore  a  bitter  part, 

Must  yet  heroically  feel 
The  blow  that  quivers  in  her  heart 


No  Santa  Claus.  61 


NO  SANTA  CLAUS. 

A  CURLY-HEADED  trouble-house, 

Scarce  higher  than  a  chair, 
With  such  a  look  of  thoughtfulness 

As  children  often  wear, 
Upturned  a  chubby  face  and  said, 

Beside  his  father's  knee — 
"  If  I  am  good,  will  Santa  Claus 

Bring  pretty  things  to  me  ?  " 


The  father,  a  philosopher, 

And  skeptic  overmuch  ; 
Believing  not  in  anything 

He  couldn't  see  and  touch  ; 
Concluded  that  the  time  had  come 

To  make  his  boy  as  wise, 
And  teach  him  to  discredit  all 

He  saw  not  with  his  eyes. 


62  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  There  is  no  Santa  Claus  at  all, 

My  little  man,"  he  said, 
"  And  they're  but  false  and  foolish  tales, 

That  put  him  in  your  head  ; 
For,  whether  Christmas  finds  you  gooi 

Or  bad  as  you  can  be, 
No  toyman  down  the  chimney'll  come, 

Nor  ever  yet  did  he." 

The  youngster  clasped  his  tiny  hands, 
"  No  Santa  Claus !  "  he  cried  ; 

And  drew  away,  and  caught  his  breath, 
And  not  to  whimper  tried  ; 

"  No  kind  old  Santa  Claus  at  all, 
To  come  on  Christmas  Eve, 

And  if  a  little  boy's  been  good, 

Some  drums  and  things  to  leave?' 

. 

The  philosophic  sire  explained 

How  that  was  all  a  myth, 
Which  only  meant  some  parent  Brown, 

Or  White,  or  Jones,  or  Smith  ; 


No  Santa   Claus.  63 

And  how  the  fabled  children's  iriend, 

To  punish  or  delight, 
Was  but  papa,  or  mother,  here, 

On  this  and  ev'ry  night. 

"  No  Santa  Claus  !  "  again  the  child, 

With  drooping  head,  exclaimed, 
And  farther  still  drew  back,  as  though 

Both  frightened  and  ashamed  ; 
Then  dropped  the  precious,  battered  toy, 

He'd  treasured  for  a  year, 
And  trowned,  as  little  children  will, 

When  they  would  hide  a  tear. 

"  Now  go,  be  put  to  bed,  my  lad, 

'Tis  past  your  hour,  you  know." 
The  boy,  impatient,  cried  "  I  won't ! " 

And  temper  such  did  show, 
That  soon  the  philosophic  sire, 

As  ne'er  before  he'd  done, 
Chastised  into  obedience 

His  now  rebellious  son, 


64  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  That  you,  who've  been  so  good  before, 

Should  act  like  this,"  cried  he, 
"  Is  strange  enough  to  make  me  doubt 

That  you  the  same  can  be !  " 
To  which  the  little  one  replied, 

As  sullenly  he  stood  : 
"  You  say  there  is  no  Santa  Claus, — 

And  why  should  I  be  good  ?  " 

At  later  hour  there  came  a  smoke 

From  out  the  nursery  door, 
And  thither  all  the  household  flew. 

From  ev'ry  startled  floor. 
Beside  a  blazing  curtain  they 

The  little  imp  did  catch — 
"  It's  cause  I  have  been  whipped,"  said  he, 

"  I  did  it  with  a  match !  " 

"  He's  bad  enough  to  burn  us  all 

Alive,  I  do  believe !  " 
The  father  cried,  scarce  knowing  but 

His  senses  did  deceive. 


No  Santa  Claus. 

For  which  the  child,  still  sullenly, 

This  single  answer  had : 
«'  You  said  there  was  no  Santa  Claus — 

Why  shouldn't  I  be  bad?" 


66  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


A  CUP  TO  CHRISTMAS. 

MERRY  CHRISTMAS  is  here,  with  a  smile  and  a 

cheer ; 

Let  all  your  old  troubles  and  quarrels  be  ended ! 
For  the  friend  that  is  near  brew  the  punch  and 

draw  beer, 

And  pledge  a  good  wish  to  the  foe  who's 
offended. 

Though  with  him  was  the  spite, 
And  with  you  is  the  right, 
In  bumper  to  bumper  forgive  him  to-night ; 
For  whoever  makes  plea  'neath  the  evergreen 

tree, 
A  prince  of  good  fellows  and  welcome  is  he  ! 

In  our  lot  may  be  loss  of  the  life-gilding  dross, 
That  rusts,  or  is  bright,  in  the  hold  free,  or 

grasping ; 

And  perchance  the  green  moss  on  the  church 
yard's  pale  cross, 

Is  wet  with  our  tears  for  a  loved  hand's  lost 
clasping  ; 


A  Cup  to  Christmas.  67 

And  the  Old  Year  has  said, 
As  he  bowed  his  white  head  : 
Absolve  me  !  I  took  them — your  gold  and  your 

dead! 

Let  his  soft  answer  be,  'neath  the  evergreen  tree : 
Our  blessing,  with  Christmas,  is  given  to  thee ! 

There's  a  face  fairer  grows   o'er  the  virginal 

snows, 
That  wrap  from  the  blast  a  young  pilgrim  and 

stranger, 

In  the  eyes  a  sweet  light,  as  of  Bethlehem's  night 
When   worshiped  the   stars   at   a  birth   in   a 
manger ; 

It  is  Time's  Latest  Born, 
In  the  flush  of  a  morn, 
That  brings,  as  we  serve  him,  the  palm  or  the 

thorn ! 

And  our  first  loyalty,  'neath  the  evergreen  tree, 
A  fireside  and  feast  for  his  poor  ones  shall  be  ! 

Then  desert  not  the  strain  till  it  rises  again, 
And  echoes  in  gladness  from  floor  unto  rafter ; 


68  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

While  the  heart's  lightest  mood  thanks  the  Giver 

of  good, 

His  praises  arise  in  its  music  and  laughter. 
And  the  goblet'fill  high, 
And  the  toast  well  drain  dry  : 
Long  life  to  what's  noblest  all  under  the  sky  ! 
For  so  reads  the  decree  'neath  the    evergreen 

tree, 
Of  old  father  Christmas,  whose  children  are  we ! 


Fraud  by  Heaven.  69 


FRAUD  BY  HEAVEN. 

'SQUIRE  MULLET  ever  strove  to  show 

Of  all  things  he  possessed  a  smattering- 
And  taught  opposing  minds  to  know 

Their  folly  had  no  kind  of  mattering ; 
Nor  did  he  find  in  all  his  path 

A  rival  to  dispute  his  victory, 
Till  Parson  Smith  aroused  his  wrath, 

By  stubborn  logic  contradictory* 


The  village  with  their  warfare  rang — 

Or,  rather,  with  the  squire's  exuberance, 
And  tongues,  in  fierce-opposing  clang, 

Inflamed  each  nose  to  red  protuberance  : 
"  I  .think  'tis  so,"  the  parson  cries, 

"  From  all  that  I  can  comprehend  of  it." 
"/know  it's  not,"  the  squire  replies — 

"  I  know,  you  know,  and  that's  the  end  of  it ! " 


7°  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

The  clashing  twain,  at  certain  date, 

Agreed,  by  way  of  test-sagacity, 
The  next  eclipse  to  calculate, 

And  digits  give  the  moon's  opacity. 
By  tables  long  the  parson  gave 

Nine  digits  to  the  orb's  obscurity : 
Whereat  the  squire,  with  pompous  wave, 

Declared  for  eight  he'd  give  security. 

Arrived  the  night,  and  lo,  the  moon 

Of  digits  showed  that  nine  had  darkening, 
Which  brought  the  parson,  boastful,  soon, 

To  vex  the  squire's  indignant  hearkening : 
"  You'll  own  you're  wrong,  sir  ?  " 

«  No,  not  I !  " 

"  To  digits  eight  mistaken  laud  you  lent." 
"  I'll  never  own  it !  " 

"  No  ?— and  why  ?  " 

"  Because,  sir,  the  excess  is  fraudulent ! ' 


At  the  Springs.  71 


AT  THE  SPRINGS. 

Parent  of  the  Period  Loquitor. 

" — AND  might  have  done  better  "—my  daughter, 

you  mean  ? 

Why,  that,  my  old  crony,  remains  to  be  seen  ; 
You  speak  with  the  freedom  of  friendship,  you 

say, 
And  I  will  respond  in  a  similar  way. 

As  brotherly  chums  in  our  bachelor  lives, 
We  came  to  the  Springs  on  a  skirmish  for  wives, 
As  partners  in  trade  many  summers  we  came, 
And  now,  as  old  boys,  we  are  hither  the  same. 

So,  let  us  talk  frankly  of  things  as  they  are : 
You  think  my  Augusta  superior,  far, 
To  him  who  returned  from  the  ride  to  the  lake, 
Her  suitor  accepted,  my  blessing  to  take. 

Young  Jenkins  has  many  a  lovable  trait, 
And  income  enough  from  his  father's  estate ; 


72  Studies  in  -Stanzas. 

He  followed  us  here  with  his  heart  in  his  hand, 
A  suppliant  more  than  my  girl  could  withstand. 

I'll  own  he's  not  brilliant;  nor  equals,  perhaps, 
The  average  run  of  society  chaps  ; 
And  halts  in  a  sentence,  to  think  of  a  word, 
Till  ev'ry  one  pities,  or  votes  him  absurd. 

Augusta,  you  say,  has  an  intellect  quick, 
That  never  was  given  to  mate  with  a  stick ; 
A  mind  ever  tuned  to  the  loftiest  strains, 
And  worthy  at  least  of  a  husband  of  brains. 

It  all  may  be  true  of  my  daughter,  my  friend ; 
But  how  would  you  manage  the  matter  to  mend  ? 
Constrained  by  no  edict  of  pride  or  of  pelf, 
The  choice  you  deplore  she  has  made  for  herself. 

A  belle  of  three  seasons,  she  finally  brings, 
To  Newport  at  first,  and  at  last  to  the  Springs, 
A  fancy  untouched  by  the  wooing  of  wit, 
To  yield  when  a  Jenkins  lays  siege  unto  it. 

She's  had  men  of  intellect  round  her  by  scores, 
The  gallant  and  sprightly,  as  well  as  the  bores ; 


At  the  Springs.  73 

But  none  made  the  venture;  from  which  I  infer, 
She  didn't  want  them,  and  they  didn't  want  her. 

I  tell  you,  old  partner,  it's  rubbish  to  preach 
Of  values  unbalanced,  where  each  selects  each  ; 
Unmatched  as  they  seem  to  the  casual  eye, 
They  mate  by  the  law  of  demand  and  supply. 

My  daughter  I  love,  as  you  very  well  know, 
And  wouldn't  be  likely  to  rate  her  too  low, 
But  as  for  the  merit  o'er  Jenkins  you  sing — 
A  woman  is  worth  simply  what  she  will  bring. 


74  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  BROKEN  RACER. 

YE  thousands  of  the  lofty  stand, 

Prolong  the  mighty  cheer, 
That  in  the  cloud  of  dust  at  hand, 

And  thunder  rolling  near, 
The  beaten  red  and  blue  is  seen 
Behind  the  orange  and  the  green ! 

Let  peals  of  exultation  strain 

The  autumn's  airy  cup, 
As  through  the  golden-hazed  champagne 

The  bubbled  beads  spring  up  ; 
For,  in  embattled  flight  to-day, 
The  Favorite  bears  the  prize  away ! 

But  here  and  there  amid  your  throng, 

Are  hearts  to  pity  moved, 
For  him,  the  Chestnut  winner  long, 

To  Bay  the  loser  proved ; 
Remembering  when  his  royal  pla'ce 
Was  ever  foremost  in  the  race. 


The  Broken  Racer.  75 

How  rang  your  plaudits  to  the  sky 

When  he,  the  whirlwind's  son, 
At  speed  that  shook  the  earth  swept  by 

The  mane  of  Leamington ; 
And  now,  above  his  drooping  crest, 
That  faded  glory  is  a  jest. 

Thus,  when  before  assembled  Rome 

The  gladiator  reeled. 
And  he,  whose  arm  had  oft  struck  home, 

Was  prone  upon  the  field, 
The  voices  of  his  early  fame 
To  death  renounced  him  for  his  shame  ! 

The  glory  of  the  victor's  strength, 

Is  his,  alas  !  no  more, 
And  fresher  sinews  come,  at  length,    • 

To  pass  him  at  the  score ; 
And  whip  and  spur  are  plied  in  vain, 
He'll  never  be  himself  again  ! 

Then  lead  him  to  his  stable  back, 

Without  a  word's  caress  ; 
The  racer,  fallen  to  a  hack, 

Than  hack  itself  is  less; 


76  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Once  having  won  a  name  the  first, 
To  lose  is  to  be  twice  accurst. 

Not  e'en  the  lackey  of  his  stall, 
Shall  yield  at  pity's  touch, 

And  be  the  gentler  to  his  fall 
In  pondering  how  much 

To  him  who  fails  is  added  sting, 

That  he  was  yesterday  a  king. 

The  honors  of  a  mighty  past 
Are  lost  to  present  proof, 

When  broken  is  his  heart  at  last. 
And  laggard  is  his  hoof  ; 

The  fallen  racer  had  his  day, 

And  passes  with  its  light  away. 


Just  the   Trouble.  77 


JUST  THE  TROUBLE. 

WITH  wild  hair  hanging-  about  her  ears 

And  neck ; 
With  fair  brow  wrinkled,  her  angry  tears 

To  check ; 
With  curl  and  quiver  contending  round 

Her  mouth  ; 
She  cometh,  her  Uncle  Sam  to  sound, — 

The  South, 


"  You  think,  I  reckon,  that  I'll  forget 

The  way, 
I've  been  maltreated  by  all  your  set, 

Some  day ; 
You  think  I  mind  whatever  you  do, 

Or  don't ; 
But  as  for  saying  how  far  that's  true — 

I  won't ! 


?8  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  You  think  I'm  pouting,  and  must  be  snubbed, 

Because 
I'll  not  take  kindly  to  what  you've  dubbed 

Free  laws, 
Whereby  my  servants  are  so  bereft 

Of  tone, — 
When  all  I  ask  is  just  to  be  left 

Alone ! 

"  You  think  to  bring  me,  from  being  the  best, 

To  least, 
Of  all  your  nieces,  the  North,  the  West, 

And  East, 
By  setting  above  me  inferiors  once 

I  ruled  ; 
But  soon'll  be  finding  yourself  a  dunce — 

And  fooled ! 

"  You  think  by  manner  despotic,  or 

Neglect, 
To  make  me  seem  too  Quixotic  for 

Respect ; 


Just  the   Trouble.  79 

Yet  I  can  stand  it  as  long  as  you  please, 

My  man, 
And  leave  you  to  take  what  victor's  ease 

You  can  ! 

"You  think  "—but  paused  at  look  from  her  Un 
cle  Sam, 

That  bore,  in  its  blent  surprise  and  fun, 
No  sham  ; 

"  To  tell  you  the  truth,  my  niece ;  since  here 
You  call ; 

I've  not  been  thinking  of  you,  my  dear, 
At  all  J" 


80  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  MAN  THEY  HANG. 

MY  dad  and  mammy  drank  until 

It  ended  in  a  fight ; 
But  all  his  pounding  didn't  kill. 

For  I  was  born  that  night. 

And  just  about  the  minute  same 

That  saw  me  try  to  creep, 
In  boss's  barn  a  pup  there  came 

Of  dogs  that  hunted  sheep. 

They  used  to  say  my  brother  was 

The  boss's  little  beast ; 
And  we  were  called  the  twins,  because 

Our  ages  matched  at  least. 

I  played  with  him,  and  he  with  me, 

Till  he  began  to  show 
A  taste  for  mutton,  rather  free, 

And  then  he  had  to  go. 


The  Man  they  Hang.  81 

That  is,  he  had  to  go  and  wear 

A  chain,  by  day  and  night, 
Because  the  boss  he  couldn't  bear 

To  drown  the  pup  outright. 

"  The  fault  is  in  his  blood,"  he  said, 

"  And  it  would  be  a  shame 
To  knock  the  creature  on  the  head, 

When  he  is  not  to  blame ! 

"  It's  only  Christian  duty,  too, 

The  beast  to  watch  and  keep ; 
Since,  long  before  his  birth,  we  knew 

His  breed  would  slaughter  sheep." 

And  so  they  kenneled  him  at  last, 

And  kept  him  fed  and  tied  ; 
And  had  me  from  the  dooryard  cast, 

Because  I  stamped  and  cried. 

"  Be  off,  you  little  vagabond  ; 

Nor  come  again  !  "  said  they  ; 
"  Your  temper's  what  your  father  owned  ; 

You'll  finely  end,  some  day ! " 


82  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Soon  after,  dad  and  mammy  went 
The  way  of  drinking  kind  ; 

An  awful  spree — two  pokers  bent — 
And  I  was  left  behind. 

It  took  not  long  for  all  to  rage 
Against  me,  and  they  flung 

These  words  at  me  :  "  By  parentage 
You're  born  but  to  be  hung ! " 

And  that  was  so.     By  casting  out, 

And  casting  out  again, 
I've  come  by  murder's  reddest  route. 

To  this  black  prison-den. 

Well,  dad  and  mammy  ill-begot, 

My  hanging-day  is  set ! 
I  wonder  if  that  dog's  been  shot, 

Or  if  they  chain  him  yet  ? 


Certain   Verses,  83 


CERTAIN  VERSES 

In  anticipation  of  an  absurd  proposition  that  a  Mr.  Knicker 
bocker  should,  some  day,  be  nominated  for  office  in  New 
York. 

IF  gravely  the  proposal's  made, 

And  to  himself  referred  it  be, 
From  what  he  knows,  I'm  much  afraid, 

He'll  deem  it  an  absurdity  ; 
Before  the  gifts  of  public  place, 

And  pomps  official,  share  he  can, 
He  must  exchange  his  native  race, — 

He's  only  an  American. 

Our  democratic  government, 
With  universal  suffraging, 

Cannot  to  such  as  he  be  lent, 

Without  prodigious  huff  raging : 

For  notice  unto  Irving  Hall, 
Or  Tammany,  repair  he  can, 

And  find  they  give  him  none  at  all- 
He's  only  an  American. 


84  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Between  the  hosts  a  Kelly  leads, 

And  those  of  Ottendorfer  class, 
But  little  grace,  howe'er  he  pleads, 

The  Knickerbocker's  offer  has  ; 
Humiliation,  swift  and  tart, 

Himself  and  kindred  spare  he  can, 
By  realizing  at  the  start, 

He's  only  an  American. 

As  independent  candidate 

What  laurels  could  he  cull,  again, 
Opposing,  say,  a  Brennan  "  slate," 

A  Conner,  Walsh,  or  Mulligan? 
Secure  a  shadow  of  support 

From  journalism  ne'er  he  can, 
When,  'stead  of  Celt  or  German  sort, 

He's  only  an  American. 

Depending  on  his  moral  worth, 
If,  yet,  he'll  make  a  fight  of  it, 

What  hope  is  his,  upon  the  earth, 
Of  office,  or  a  sight  of  it? 


Certain   Verses.  85 

No  native  can  bring  out  the  vote 

A  gentleman  from  Kerry  can  ; 
His  ticket  has  no  kind  of  note — 

He's  only  an  American. 

You  can't  persuade  to  seek  the  polls — 

Or  think  the  moment  fit  is,  when 
His  city  calls — that  best  of  souls, 

The  home-born  Yankee  citizen  : 
Tis  but  when  all  the  nation  goes, 

Find  leisure  to  be  there  he  can, 
And  never  else — which  merely  shows 

He's  only  an  American.2 

Wherefrom  it  seems,  that  in  New  York, 

The  veriest  of  mockeries — 
As  though  in  Bremen  or  in  Cork — 

To  run  a  Knickerbocker  is  : 
Not  being  either  Pat  or  Hans, 

'Tis  simply,  in  despair,  he  can 
Confess  what  forfeits  all  his  chance — 

He's  only  an  American  ! 


86  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  RIVEN  AEROSTAT. 

THROUGH  all  the  land  what  sounding  fame  was 

that 

Which  voiced  the  wonders  of  an  aerostat, 
With  mighty  leap  to  spurn  the  world  we  tread, 
And  sail  the  trackless  distance  overhead  ; 
To  seek  the  airy  current  of  the  sky 
That  ever  eastward  belts  the  azure  high, 
And  on  the  pinions  of  the  tempest  glide 
Above  the  ocean,  to  its  farther  side  ! 


The  very  mention  of  the  deed  was  fraught 
With  something  potent  of  a  godlike  thought, 
And  stirred  the  mind,  by  soaring  fancy  won, 
To  gage   what    might  be,   by  what  had  been, 

done. 

Full  oft  the  sphere  by  wings  of  ether  borne 
Had  sought  the  zenith,  like  the  sun  of  morn, 
And,  dwindling  buoyantly,  been  lost  to  view, 
In  lesser  voyage  through  the  realms  of  blue. 


The  Riven  Aerostat.  87 

Before  Columbus  crossed  the  western  main, 
What  fleets  had  sailed  the  nearer  seas  from  Spain  ; 
And  who  of  all  from  Europe's  coast  that  went, 
But  might,  like  him,  have  found  a  continent  ? 
It  was  the  daring  of  a  soul  and  will 
Beyond  his  time,  that  gave  him  faith  and  skill 
To  start  as  others,  but  the  farther  go, 
And  from  their  knowledge  learn  the  more  to  know. 
i 

Why,  then,  impossible  the  airy  flight, 
From  hours  extended  unto  day  and  night  ; 
From  petty  journey  in  the  high  expanse, 
To  sight  of  England  or  the  coast  of  France  ? 
The  pow'r  was  there,  and  needed  but  the  man 
Its  might  to  measure  in  a  nobler  span ; 
To  do  the  better  what  was  done  before, 
And  by  the  much  attained  attain  the  more. 

Thus  all  the  land  was  filled  with  loud  acclaim, 
And  thronging  thousands  to  the  pageant  came, 
When  from  the  earth  should  slip  its  girded  hold 
The  globe  translucent  on  its  venture  bold, 


88  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

And  mount  like  night  above  the  setting  sun, 
To  course  the  stars  until  the  race  was  won, 
To  gain  the  goal ;  or,  e'en  if  blown  astray, 
For  others,  coming  after,  show  the  way. 


As  through  the  folds  the  subtle  spirit  flies, 
To  mold  the  body  and  to  bid  it  rise, 
Each  heart  beats  faster  with  a  strange  delight, 
And  eyes  flash  brighter  at  the  wondrous  sight. 
From  the  low  ground  a  giant  form  upwells, 
And  to  a  dome  of  stateliest  arching  swells, 
Which,  rising  swifter  as  the  moments  pass, 
Looms  like  a  golden  temple  o'er  the  grass. 

It  rounds  the  more,  as  mounting  vapors  urge, 
Till,  like  vast  planet  on  the  heaven's  verge, 
Its  poise  majestic  hides  the  day  from  view, 
Save  where  a  glow  that  seems  its  own  streams 

through ; 

And,  spreading  grander  to  the  autumn  wind, 
As  though  impatient  thus  to  lag  behind, 
Strains  at  the  bonds  that  hold  its  glory  down, 
And  rolls  in  rustling  air  its  lofty  crown. 


The  Riven  Aerostat. 

Almost  the  act  creative  is  complete ; 
Almost  the  splendid  fabric  springs  to  meet 
The  clouds  that  scud  along  the  ocean  track, 
To  lap  its  beauties  in  their  fleecy  rack  : 
When,  with  supremest  effort  to  be  free, 
In  one  fierce  burst  to  be,  or  not  to  be, 
It  flutters,  pants,  is  rended,  to  a  shout — 
A  vision  ended,  and  a  light  blown  out ! 


As  at  the  crisis  of  some  mighty  part, 

Of  its  own  passion  breaks  the  actor's  heart ; 

As  through  a  mortal  tenement  of  clay 

The  soul  too  mighty  finds  by  death  its  way  : 

What  erst  aspired  to  reach  the  starry  heights, 

Through  days   of  toiling  and   through   vigiled 

nights, 

By  its  own  spirit  torn  and  downward  cast, 
Sank  to  the  earth  a  lifeless  wreck  at  last. 


Let  those  who  late  the  brave  attempt  approved, 
To  sneering  pity  of  the  fall  be  moved, 
And  say  to  others  of  their  specious  ilk  : 
The  thing  was  cotton  when  it  should  be  silk. 


go  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Thus  ever  that  which  garb  the  humblest  wears, 
More  than  the  soul  in  dainty  texture  dares ; 
Thus  when  its  failure  shows  a  strength  unthought, 
The  fate  of  Fustian  is  the  lesson  caught ! 

But  once  a  thought  of  deed  sublime  conceived, 

It  grows  by  failures  still  to  be  retrieved  •, 

If  in  one  form  too  great  of  act  to  live, 

Unto  another  it  can  potence  give. 

Made  strong  by  knowing  what  its  strength  can 

bear, 

And  braver,  learning  what  it  has  to  dare, 
Its  final  fruits  its  promises  transcend, 
And  vindicate  its  genius  in  the  end. 

So  though,  by  energy  inspired  too  well, 

Within  the  hour  of  victory  it  fell ; 

Though  through  the  wound  along  its  riven  side 

Rushed  forth  the  soaring  spirit  of  its  pride ; 

The  grand  idea  visioned  in  its  birth 

Lives  yet  to  teach  its  kind  to  spurn  the  earth  ; 

And  to  the  loftiest  current  of  the  skies, 

At  last  the  ocean-aerostat  shall  rise ! 


"Pitts"  and  "Calls"  91 


«  PUTS  "  AND  «  CALLS." 

A  WALL  STREET  IDYL. 

FOR  six  fair  years,  good  wife  of  mine, 

The  world  as  married  folks  has  known  us, 
Since  first  I  Put  my  lips  to  thine, 

And  gave  to  thee  a  ring  as  Bonus. 
It  scarcely  seems  so  distant  now, 

And  yet  our  ages  show  it,  certes ; 
A  matronly  Five-Twenty,  thou, 

And  I'm  amongst  the  Seven-Thirties. 

Perchance  when  thou,  with  soothing  air, 

Hast  called  me  "  Duck  !  "  I've  been  a  lame  one ; 
Or  when  thy  mother  styled  me  "  Bear  !  " 

I've  been  a  Bull — though  quite  a  tame  one  ; 
But  if  one's  Shares  of  good  intent 

Are  not  what  he  is  always  large  in, 
At  least  I'm  sure  I  never  meant 

That  mine  should  have  too  small  a  Margin. 


92  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

If  e'er  that  I  was  Short  in  Stock 

Of  patience,  thou  hast  been  a  mourner : 
Or  I'd  a  Check  from  thee,  to  lock 

My  warmest  feelings  in  a  Corner, 
Exchange  of  Notes  on  the  above 

Has  quickly  sped  the  mood  disgusted, 
And  left  us  Long  in  Bonds  of  love, 

With  all  our  Differences  Adjusted. 

Nor  need  I  fear  to  ask,  of  right, 

What  in  our  Days  of  Grace  was  proffered, 
That  thou  should'st  not  Protest  at  Sight 

Of  poverty,  if  Draught  were  offered ; 
Thy  promise  then  to  bear  with  all 

The  chills  of  fate  without  a  shiver, 
In  Fixed  Security  I  Call 

Its  Verbal  Contract  to  Deliver. 

That  by  a  turn  of  fortune's  wheel, 
I'm  poorer  than  a  young  mechanic, 

Is  but  enough  to  make  us  feel, 

I'm  sure,  but  merest  passing  Panic ; 


"Puts"  and  "  Calls"  93 

And  if  we  can  no  longer  dress 

In  cloth  and  silk  of  costly  tissue, 
We'll  have  our  children  still  to  bless, 

Nor  ever  deem  them  Over-Issue. 

Beyond  the  city's  crowded  ranks, 

In  humbler  home  and  lesser  striving, 
A  hearty  Run  upon  the  Banks 

May  bring  our  early  youth's  reviving : 
And  if  the  future  of  my  life 

Should  be  the  present  cloud's  revoker, 
I'll  charge  it  to  the  dearest  Wife 

That  ever  blessed  a  Broken  Broker. 


94  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


AT  EASTER. 

IN  Lent's  last  twilight  lulled  to  sleep 

By  soft  cathedral  bells, 
While  yet  upon  the  April  air 

The  solemn  organ  swells, 
Her  thoughts  go  out  in  vestal  dreams 

To  greet  the  Easter  day, 
As  buoyant  as  the  birds  of  dawn. 

And  innocent  as  they. 


The  cadence  of  the  hymn  is  lost 

In  prima  donna's  trill, 
That  mingles  with  the  merry  note 

Of  polka  and  quadrille  ; 
And  where  but  now  the  priest  and  choir 

Intoned  the  doom  of  wrong, 
The  strains  of  Offenbach  inspire 

The  fantasies  of  song. 


At  Easter.  95 

No  longer  draped  in  mournful  serge 

For  man's  repented  guiles, 
The  altar  of  the  brightening  church 

Entwined  with  lilies  smiles  ; 
While  through  the  sacred  portal  throngs 

A  bridal  train  more  fair 
Than  ever  saw,  with  waking  eyes, 

The  girlish  dreamer  there. 

Then  o'er  the  broadening  summer-land 

Of  forest,  field  and  stream, 
The  lover's-walk,  the  archery, 

The  dancing  sail  agleam  ; 
Her  maiden  fancy  wings  its  way, 

Sweets  sipping  as  it  goes, 
Herself  spring's  sweetest  violet, 

And  summer's  fairest  rose. 


96  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  MUTE. 

FOUR  kindred  Spirits  stood  around  a  grave 
Wherefrom  the  dark,  dissevered  mourner-train 
Had  slow  recoiled  into  the  world  again, 

Like  parted  cable  lapsing  in  the  wave. 

One  touched  the  headstone  lightly  as  a  cloud ; 
And  One  upon  the  right  hand  faced  the  Third, 
Who,  on  the  left,  trod  softly  as  a  bird  ; 

The  Last,  unmoving,  at  the  feet  was  bowed. 

From  all  a  golden  light  of  life  was  cast ; — 
A  soft,  transcendent  luster  of  the  eye, 
The  subtle  glory  native  to  the  sky  ; — 

From  all  save  her,  the  bowed,  unmoving  Last. 

She  at  the  tablet-marble  of  the  head 

A  gleaming  trump  and  scroll  of  parchment 
bore ; 

She  on  the  right  the  sword  and  balance  wore : 
A  spotless  shield  before  the  Third  was  spread ; 


The  Mute.  97 

But  for  the  bending  Spirit  at  the  feet, 
In  robes  of  sable  clad  and  drooping  veil, 
No  emblem  gracious  shone  to  tell  the  tale 

Of  lofty  mission  from  a  life  complete. 

"  Hence  swiftly  flying  from  his  grave,"  said  Fame, 
"  Tis  mine  to  trumpet  over  all  the  earth 
The  life-ennobling  story  of  his  worth, 

And  write  the  deathless  honors  of  his  name  !  " 

"  And  mine,"  said  Justice,  "  e'er  to  follow  thee, 
That  naught  o'ertold  the  final  truth  defile  ;" 
"  And  mine,"  said  Mercy,  "  both  to  reconcile  ; 

And  to  the  Fourth,  unmoving,  turned  the  Three. 

"  Oh  thou,  our  sister,  motionless  and  mute  ! 

For  us  who  speech  and  scroll  of  memory  gave  ; 

Thou  bride  of  Death  and  angel  of  the  Grave, 
Of  mortal  growth  to  God  the  sweetest  fruit — 

"  We  leave  thee  watching,  where  no  others  are, 
In  sable  draped  that  we  may  whiter  shine  ; 
All  that  we  are  is  lesser  grace  than  thine, 

And  thou  the  cloud  that  folds  our  natal  star ! '' 

4 


98  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Then  upward  winging  through  the  ether,  fleet, 
With  arms  enclasped,  arose  the  shiningThree ; 
But  ever,  fading,  looking  back  to  thee, 

Thou  Shade  Eternal,  bowing  at  the  feet.3 

For  thou  art  Silence  {  hiding  in  thy  breast 
The  all  that  to  the  shadows  of  the  tomb 
Might  give  a  deeper  barrier  of  gloom, 

And  move  the  world's  dead  anchors  to  unrest. 


Hygeia  in  the  South.  99 


HYGEIA  IN  THE  SOUTH. 

Extract  from  a  private  letter. 

"  HEED  not,  my  friend,  the  foolish  tales  you  hear 
Of  Southern  sickness  in  this  summer  season ; 

They're  based  on  idlest  rumors,  far  and  near, 
Without  a  particle  of  truth  or  reason. 

Like  all  the  world  we  have  our  heated  term, 
When  vital  vigor  less,  in  some  degree,  grows, 

But  this  involves  no  dread  disease's  germ, 
Except  for  negroes. 


"  The  fevers  few,  that  come  with  rainy  spring, 
And  into  later  periods  have  extension, 

Are  rarely,  I  assure  you,  anything 

That  can't  be  shunned  by  very  slight  attention. 

Perhaps  the  stranger  feels  a  little  ill, 

If  he  with  fruit  and  evening  air  too  free  grows ; 

But  they  whom  these  malarial  trifles  kill, 
Are  chiefly  negroes. 


ioo  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  It  may  be  true,  the  Asiatic  scourge 
Is  more  or  less  with  us  until  October ; 

But  mild  it  is,  to  merest  meagrim's  verge, 
To  those  whose  living,  for  a  time,  is  sober. 

It  works  its  worst  where  first  it  did  arrive, 
In  town  that  by  the  river  or  the  sea  grows  ; 

Yet  even  there,  the  ones  who  don't  survive, 
Are  mainly  negroes. 

"  Aside  from  spinal  troubles,  now  and  then, 
And  qualms  dyspeptic,  feasts  to  put  a  check  on, 

We,  Southern  people — children,  dames  and  men, 
Are  healthier  far  than  many  Yanks,  I  reckon. 

Our  servile  class  will  riot,  till  we  get 

Its  substitute  from  China,  where  the  tea  grows ; 

But,  even  here,  those  paying  nature's  debt, 
Are  wholly  negroes." 


The    Triumph.  101 


THE  TRIUMPH. 

April    10    1871. 

Now  joy  to  Barbarossa, 

Upon  this  April  day, 
When  German  landsmen  hold  the  lines 

Of  Bowery  and  Broadway  54 
As  erst,  a  few  short  weeks  ago, 

The  pleasant  sons  of  Cork  * 
Obstructed  all  thy  chosen  streets, 

From  morn  till  night,  New  York ! 

Through  groves  of  Prussian  banners, 

With  trumpet,  fife  and  drum, 
In  pomp  of  battle's  stern  array 

And  peaceful  trade  they  come  ; 
A  Rhine  incarnate  winding  through 

A  living  double  coast, 
To  where  the  chiefs  of  state  and  town 

Salute  the  endless  host. 

*  St.   Patrick's  Day  celebration. 


102  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

All  glory  to  the  Empire  1 

A  million  plaudits'ring, 
And  glory  to  the  peace  that  makes 

A  Kaiser  of  a  king ! 
A  mighty  fortress  is  our  God, 

And  we,  across  the  sea, 
Join  greetings  with  the  Emperor 

To  him  for  victory ! 

In  thunder  speaks  the  cannon 
And  swells  the  glowing  song, 

While  ev'ry  high  and  by-way  rolls 
Its  multitudes  along; 

As  erst,  a  few  short  weeks  ago, 
The  pleasant  sons  of  Cork 

•j 

Obstructed  all  thy  chosen  streets 

With  marshaled  throngs,  New  York. 

Now  sway  the  cheering  thousands, 

That  choke  the  city's  path, 
While  from  a  score  of  throats  there  comes 

A  sudden  burst  of  wrath  : 


The   Triumph.  103 

"  Vot  for  you  dries  dese  bushings  here, 

Unt  Crowdings,  in  der  jam  ? 
1  dinks  you  is  some  Frenchman  scared 

Of  Unser  Fritz,  by  tarn  ! " 

It  is  a  dusty  stranger, 

Of  aspect  most  forlorn, 
With  diff'rent  face  and  speech  from  them, 

And  garments  rudely  torn, 
Who  wears  a  look  of  frenzied  haste, 

And  pants,  and  crowds  again  ; 
While  ever  still  they  thrust  him  back — 

These  swarming  Deutschermen. 

"  Tis  three  o'clock  approaches —  + 

I  have  a  note  to  meet — 
I  can't  get  down  to  bank  or  store, 

By  any  single  street — 
The  cars  are  all  in  close  blockade, 

And  I'm  a  ruined  man 
If  longer  stayed — oh,  who  will  help 

A  poor  American ! " 


Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Thus  speaks  the  frantic  stranger, 

They  will  not  let  him  pass, 
Till  steps  there  forward  one  whose  mien 

Proclaims  the  ruling  class : 
"  Be  aisy  now,  ye  Dootchmen  there, 

And  let  the  crayture  go  ; 
For,  sure,  it's  joost  the  likes  av  him 

Once  owned  the  town,  ye  know. 

"  The  likes  av  him,  be  jabers, 

Have  gev  to  us  and  yez 
The  right  to  take  the  town  we're  in 

And  run  it  as  we  plaze ; 
The  likes  av  him  don't  vote  at  all 

When  Hans  and  Pat  contind ; 
But  if  ye  taze  the  crayture,  he 

May  bate  us  in  the  ind ! " 

They  hear  his  words  of  wisdom, 

These  sons  of  fatherland, 
And  back,  to  give  the  stranger  way, 

They  roll  on  either  hand  : 


The    Triumph.  105 

And,  like  to  one  of  sense  bereft, 
Speeds  on  the  wretched  man : 

Past  three  o'clock ! — a  bankrupt  is 
The  poor  American. 


Now  joy  to  Barbarossa 

Upon  this  April  day, 
When  German  landsmen  hold  the  lines 

Of  Bowery  and  Broadway  ; 
As  erst,  a  few  short  weeks  ago, 

The  pleasant  sons  of  Cork 
Obstructed  all  thy  chosen  streets, 

From  morn  till  night,  New  York ! 


io6  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


VOX  DEI. 

"  THE  demons  of  the   mob,"  said   he,  "  in  that 

masked  hell  of  hate  around  us, 
Were  pressing  closer  on  our  ranks,  with  howls 

and  curses  to  confound  us ; 
Another  moment's  peace  with  those  who  roared 

for  blood,  from  curb  to  girder, 
Had  been  the  filling  of  a  storm  to  burst  in  whirls 

of  fire  and  murder. 


"  We  saw  our  allies,  the  police,  hemmed  in  and 
checked  along  our  borders  ; 

Then  faced  upon  the  foe  and  fired — " 

Yes,  soldier,  fired  without  your  orders ! 

Your  regiment  awaited  not  the  word  command 
ing  duly  given. 

"  And  yet  the  order  given  was,  I  tell  thee,  citi 
zen,  by  heaven  !  " 


Vox  Dei.  107 

Who  given  by,  then,  soldier,  pray  ? 

"  That  question  I  have  solved  already  ; 
Twas  Heaven  itself  the  order  gave  while  yet  our 

menaced  flanks  were  steady. 
So,  let  the   rescued  city  say  we  fired  without 

command  and  blund'red ; 
They  take  from  Providence  the  word  who  fifty 

siay  to  save  five  hundred !  "5 


io8  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  NINE. 

OFT  had  I  heard,  in  lodgings  next  to  mine,  , 
An  eager,  manly  voice  invoke  "  the  Nine !  " 
'And,  straightway  after,  something  scraped  and 

boomed, 
As  though  my  neighbor  strode,  and   stamped, 

and  fumed. 

Sure  'tis  a  bard,  whose  burning  soul,  thought  I, 
To  woo  the  muses  lifts  its  pleading  cry ; 
And  coining  verses  worthy  of  his  fair, 
The  lone  composer  stalks  and  beats  the  air. 

Once,  when  we  met,  I  could  not  help  but  ask: 
'  Is  ended  bravely,  sir,  your  rhyming  task  ? 
Our  rooms  adjoining,  I've  o'erheard  your  plea 
To  all  the  daughters  of  Mnemosyne, — 

"  Heard  how  you  raved — "     His  staring  struck 

me  dumb ; 
"  Mnemosy — who,    sir  ?      Oh,   see    here,    now  ! 

Come ! 


The  Nine.  109 

I'm  swinging  Kehoe's  clubs,  for  nerve,  before 
We  meet  the  base-ball  nine  from  Baltimore. 

Brood  of  high  Jove,  that  haunt  Castilian  fount ! 
The  classic  number,  old,  by  which  you  count, 
And  by  the  poet  held  divinely  fast — 
To  what  Base  uses  it  has  come  at  last ! 


i  io  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


PRO  PATRIA  MORI. 

THE  stricken  soldier,  whitening  into  death 
From  reddest  flush  of  strongest  life  and  breath, 
Is  like  the  Year,  from  autumn's  fires  aglow, 
In  wintry  tempest  brought  to  shroud  of  snow. 
Not  his  to  die  where  weeping  women  kneel, 
And  manhood's  specter  craves  the  hand  to  heal ; 
From  height  supreme  of  manliest  might  he  falls, 
'Mid  flame  and  smoke  that  weave  a  thousand 

palls  ; 

One  moment  meteor  of  the  cloud  and  blaze, 
The  next  his  life-blood  ebbs  where  cattle  graze  ; 
Through  roars  of  armies,  harrowing  the  skies, 
While  fates  of  nations  tremble  as  they  rise, 
He  hears  the  captain's  call,  the  gunner's  shout, 
And  in  the  crash  his  lion  soul  goes  out. 

As  follows  spring  upon  the  year  that  died — 
Not  weak  with  summer,  but  in  winter's  pride — 
To  write  in  flow'rs,  for  epitaph  and  text, 
One  season's  story  that  shall  rule  the  next. 


Pro  Patria  Mori.  ur 

Come  thou  with  garlands  radiant  in  bloom 
To  cast  upon  thine  honored  soldier's  tomb ; 
With  roses,  lilies,  violets  repair, 
And  in  their  simple  beauty  leave  them  there ; 
To  be,  like  him,  the  glory  of  an  hour, 
And,  in  full  fragrance,  perish  by  the  show'r. 
His  young,  strong  life,  like  theirs,  to  earth  re 
turned, 

Makes  sweeter  store  by  mother  Nature  urned, 
Undwindling  caught,  for  future  years  to  be 
A  might  and  incense  deathless  for  the  free. 


Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  "LAST"  MAN. 

VENUS  herself,  at  her  mirror,  beheld  not  so 
proper  a  * 

Beauty  as  she  who  looked  down  from  a  box  at 
the  opera, 

Scanning  with  glass  all  the  numerous  faces  up 
turned  to  her, 

Heedless  that  many  a  heart  in  the  multitude 
burned  to  her. 


Sudden  she  said  to  a  friend  in  the  chair  by  the 

side  of  her — 
One  of   the  many  who'd  thought  that  ere  this 

they'd  have  died  of  her — 
"  Yonder,  with    head    at   a   sag,    and    in   ulster 

diagonal, 
Stands  there  a  man  whom  I  certainly  recognize, 

sag  an'  all !  " 


The  "Last"  Man.  113 

Then  she  grew  pensive,  nor  listened  to  Gerster's 

sweet  aria : 
"  Yes,  I  have  known  him,  although  he's  grown 

sleeker  and  hairier ; 
Dim  recollections,  untraceable,  seem  to  reveal  to 

me, 
That  I  have  seen  yon  identical  gentleman  kneel 

to  me ! " 

Surely  it  could  not  be  possible  she  had  the  heart- 

lessness 
Thus  to  betray  a  rejection,  with  parodied  art- 

lessness ; 
Surely  if  all  her  most  blinded  admirers  had  been 

jury, 
They'd  have  decided  'twas  adding  an  insult  to 

injury. 

But,  from  a  spell  of  deep  thoughtfulness,  verging 

on  tragical, 
Changed  she  to  smiles,  with  a  startling  celerity 

magical : — 


H4  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  Now   all  the   bars  of  this  memory's  mystery 

melt  to  me  ! 
Bend,  and  I'll  whisper  the  name  of  the  mortal 

who's  knelt  tome." 


So,  when  you  meet  her,  for  fun  you  may  say,  if 
you  please,  to  her, 

All  that  you  know  of  the  man  who  has  been  on 
his  knees  to  her  ; 

Making  her  footsteps  obey,  as  but  very  few  do 
make  her, 

He  is  no  other,  in  fact,  than  her  ladyship's — shoe 
maker  ! 


Epithalamium.  1 1 


EPITHALAMIUM. 

THE  rose  in  bloom  not  surer  shows 
That  summer's  reign  is  at  its  prime, 

Than  that  the  cheek  on  which  it  glows 
Has  ripened  for  the  wedding-time. 

Ring  forth  upon  the  balmy  air 
The  bells  that  for  the  lily  swing  ; 

Not  they  more  wonderfully  fair 

Than  she  the  bridal  courtiers  bring. 

One  moment  at  the  altar  bowed, 
With  him,  her  summer  prince,  beside, 

The  next,  in  lace  and  satin  cloud, 
She  rises  to  her  throne,  a  bride. 

A  something  softened  in  her  grace, 
Like  twilight  from  a  day  in  June. 

She  catches  on  her  mantling  face 
The  luster  of  the  honeymoon. 


n6  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

And  dreams  the  golden  round  of  days 
That  circles  thence,  like  ring  from  gem, 

Shall  gleam  o'er  all  her  future  ways, 
Her  life's  first  summer  diadem. 

The  bridal  season's  happy  hours, 
Its  seas  divine,  its  fairy  main  ; — • 

We  pray  they  die  not  with  the  flowVs, 
Unless,  like  them,  to  live  again. 


Brother  Blathers.  117 


BROTHER  BLATHERS. 

WELL,  brother  Blathers,  on  my  life,  your  luck 

In  being  advertised  beats  all  creation  ; 
Each  tempest  turns  for  you  into  a  puff, 

From  out  your  nominal  great  tribulation. 
Walk  on  your  hands  around  your  pulpit's  verge, 

Cut  pigeon-wings  and  endless  monkey  capers, 
And  what  for  any  other  man  were  shame, 

For  you  is  common  fame  in  all  the  papers. 

I  well  remember  you  when  hither  come, 

A  tramping  lecturer,  from  Western  college, 
How  you  selected  subjects  loudly  small, 

By   noise  to   hide    your   want  of    schoolboy 

knowledge, 
And  how  the  country  press,  especially, 

Was  fond  of  quoting  your  Blatheriana 
Deceived  by  platitudes  of  common  gush, 

Roared  in  conceitedly  uncommon  manner. 


Studies  in  Stanzas. 


With  all  your  buncombe,  though,  and  postures 

wild, 

We  thought  you  honest  in  devout  convictions, 
And    hailed   you   worthy  when    you   found    a 

church, 
And  poured  from  thence  on  sin  your  maledic 

tions. 

Not  meek  and  lowly,  you  exactly  seemed  ; 
Indeed  you  had  some  ways  too  like  a  show 

man  ; 

Yet  when  the  public  crave  that  sort  of  thing, 
A  little  touch  of  Barnum  injures  no  man. 


But  when  you  had  that  wedding  on  the  stage, 

Some    few    old-fashioned    Christians    rather 

doubted  ; 
Nor  did  you  gain  thereafter  their  esteem 

Because    you     higher    pranced    and    louder 

shouted, 
That  weekly-paper  business,  too,  of  yours, 

Destroyed  the  faith  full  many  souls  had  in  you  ; 
Though  still  they  held  you  not  a  man  of  sin, 

So  much  as  one  of  strange,  gymnastic  sinew. 


Brother   Blathers.  119 

The  church-debt-raising  damaged  you  the  worst, 

In  having  aspect  of  a  trick  unholy  ; 
Nor  did  your  sermons  on  the  city  slums 

Remove  that  sinister  impression  wholly  ; 
So,  at  the  Presbytery's  friendly  move, 

To  try  you  on  a  common  fame  unflattering, 
Your  simplest-minded  followers  could  scarce 

Restrain  their  sympathetic  teeth  from  chat 
tering. 


Your  weekly-paper  publisher  could  tell 

How  you  had  run  his  property  to  tatters, 
And  then  a  puff  for  self  had  smuggled  in, 

Behind  his  back — with  divers  other  matters. 
And  your  own  banker,  too,  could,  say  of  you  : 

"  The  parson  used  my  name,  in  cash  pedantics 
To  raise  subscriptions  to  his  church's  dues — 

Assisters  to  his  cussins's  and  his  antics." 


For  once  the  journals'  blatant  type  would  prove 
For  you  no  gratifying  advertising, 

Since,  if  the  charges  specified  were  true, 
About  your  fall  there'd  be  no  more  surmising ; 


120  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

But  when  the  trial  duly  comes  at  last, 

With  all  its  grand  array  of  proofs  alarming — 

What  is  it  but  your  crowning  chance  to  turn 
Just  one  more  flip-flap  for  the  public's  charm 
ing? 

The  stern  tribunal  dwindles,  at  the  start, 

Into  a  group,  as  'twere,  of  ancient  females, 
No  more  in  strength  and  body  what 't  should  be, 

Than  smallest  beer  is  like  the  choicest  cream 

ales; 
And  as  for  witnesses  to  make  you  wince, 

As  early  promised,  in  due  form  pretentious, 
To  testify  against  a  man  so  good, 

They're  all,  confoundedly,  too  conscientious. 

Thus    change  the   flourishes   which   made  the 
press 

Above  a  fancied  case  of  pastoral  dolours, 
Into  a  full  brass  band  to  your  success, 

And  you  come  off,  of  course,  with  flying  colors. 
A  fortnight's  flaming  head-lines,  day  by  day, 

Implying  woe  for  him  whom  churchmen  tackle, 
Resolve  themselves  into  a  first-class  puff 

For  that  same  martyr  and  his  tabernacle. 


Brother  Blathers.  121 

Hence,  Brother  Blathers,  as  I  said  before, 

Your  advertising  luck  beats  all  creation, 
And  so  much  greater  is  your  gain  in  print, 

The  greater  seems  jour  passing  tribulation. 
Throw  somersaults  all  round  your  pulpit's  verge. 

Stand  on  your  head,  cut  multifarious  capers, 
And  what  for  any  other  man  were  shame, 

For  you  is  common  fame  in  all  the  papers. 


122  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


IN  LENT. 

So  late  her  lilied  beauties  caught 

The  lustrous  radiance  of  the  ball, 
Where  music's  wave  of  dancers  sought 

Her  airy  footstep's  rise  and  fall, 
That  even  in  her  sackcloth  train 

Some  elfin  light  and  motion  are, 
As  eyes  turned  from  it  yet  retain 

The  ray  and  twinkle  of  a  star. 


Upon  the  twilight  veil  of  Lent 

Her  face  is  like  a  truant  beam, 
Escaped  from  sunlit  firmament 

To  rest  upon  a  forest  stream  ; 
Or,  like  a  daisy  of  the  field, 

That,  straying,  in  a  pensive  mood, 
Is  but  the  lovelier  revealed 

Through  darkening  vistas  of  the  wood. 


In  Lent.  123 

And  here,  where  brooding  shadows  soft, 
Through  painted  windows,  touch  her  head, 

And,  'neath  the  vaulted  arches,  oft 
Humiliation's  prayer  is  said, 

She  bows  in  meekness  at  a  shrine 
That  earth's  frail  vanities  should  mock, 

And  blossoms  in  that  shade  divine, 

'    The  flower  of  all  the  rector's  Hock. 


124  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  DEAD  NAPOLEON. 

January  9,  1873. 

To  the  long  sleep  he  lays  him  down  at  last, 

Dying  an  exile  in  a  foreign  land  ; 
Lonely  of  all  that  thronged  his  mighty  past, 

Save  the  true  wife  who  clings  unto  his  hand. 

Taunts  of  the  foe  shall  sting  his  soul  no  more, 
Dreams  of  a  triumph  stir  him  not  to  joy  ; 

Only  to  mourn  the  glories  gone  before, 
Left  to  the  weeping  mother  of  his  boy. 

Let  the  coarse  lip  be  curled  in  fierce  disdain, 
Now  that  an  empire  lives  not  in  his  glance  ; 

Let  the  rude  jeer  be  pointed  once  again 
At  the  departed  majesty  of  France  ! 

Borne  to  his  grave,  he  will  not  feel  it  now  ; 

Lying  in  sepulcher,  he  cannot  hear ; 
And  the  imperial  bending  of  his  brow 

Smoothes  into  death  beneath  a  woman's  tear. 


The  Dead  Napoleon.  12$ 

Mock  at  the  head  in  dust  that  lieth  down, 
Once     for    its   wearing    what    the    mobsman 
scorns ; 

Echo  the  rabble's  hatred  of  a  crown, 
E'en  as  it  spurned  and  hated  one  of  thorns ! 

To  the  lone  dead  it  bringeth  naught  of  shame, 
That  on  his  fortune  set  a  wintry  sun  ; 

Something  sublime  of  his  great  kinsman's  name 
Dwells  with  the  cold  and  still  Napoleon. 

In  the  bleak  land  where  once  that  kinsman's  star 
Paled  at  a  burning  city's  stoic  scoff, 

His  was  the  hand  relighting,  brighter  far, 
Torched  by  the  guns  that  rent  the  Malakhoff. 

By  the  same  sword  that  brought  him  from  the 
throne, 

Breaking  in  battle  mightier  than  he, 
Freedom's  Italia  gave  he  to  her  own, 

From  the  white  Alpine  summits  to  the  sea. 

Through  the  dread  woe  and  shadow  of  Sedan, 
Crownless  the  empire  catches  as  it  flits, 

Fire  from  a  Solferino  and  the  man 
True  to  her  memories  of  Austerlitz. 


126  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Queen  of  the  dead,  beside  her  dead  she  bows 
In  her  own  passion  France  the  yet  accurst ; 

Helpless  of  him,  the  last  her  pride  to  rouse, 
Borne  to  his  tomb  in  distant  Chiselhurst. 

But,  by  the  matchless  glories  of  the  past, 
Marvel  of  story  for  the  tongue  and  pen, 

Caesar  shall  come  unto  his  own  at  last, 
When  her  avenging  eagles  soar  again! 


Humors  Iliad. 


HUMOR'S  ILIAD. 

THE  liquid  laugh  hilarious  hails  the  jest 

From  trifling  tongue,  or  facile  fancy's  store, 

And  wit's  unwisest  zanyable  zest 

Awakes  the  long-resounding,  ribald  roar. 

But  scarce  a  smile  on  lip  the  lightest  greets 
The  masking  mirth  of  many  a  mournful  thing, 

That,  grimly  grave,  has  unctuous  under-beats, 
As  'neath  the  turgid  tide's  the  bubbling  spring. 

Full  often  souls  in  silvery  song  supreme, 
By  bodies  bent  to  groaning  grief  are  borne ; 

Full  oft  the  depths  of  dreariest  drivel  teem 
With  marks  of  Momus,  merry  as  the  morn. 

The  simple  sophist's  garrulous  "  Go  West ! " — 
The  native  newsman's  fearful  foreign  flights — 

The  doleful  doctrine  Darwin  has  exprest — 
The  sermon  Spurgeon  seriously  writes — 


128  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

All  are  but  jokes  on  yawning  Yankee  youth — 
A  humor  spun  at  transatlantic  speed — 

The  slyest  slap  at  scientific  truth — 
A  comic  treatment  ot  the  churchman's  creed. 

In  them  an  awkward  aiming  to  amuse, 

Through  gloomy  gravity,  imperlect  gleams ; 

Bewilders  brain  'twixt  grin  and  groan  to  choose, 
And  half  of  humor,  half  of  horror  seems. 

More  mortals  mean  to  find  facetious  fame 
Than  can  command  the  cachinnating  sound ; 

Their  words  and  works,  despite  themselves,  are 

tame, 
And,  failing  to  be  funny,  prove  profound. 

Lo,  Huxley  harping  Protoplastic  pleas, 
And  Stuart  Mill  to  woman-warring  won ; 

They  turned,  perchance,  to  tangled  themes  like 

these, 
From  palled  perplexity  to  plan  a  pun. 

Full  many  a  man  of  quaintly-comic  whim, 

Has  sadly  sighed  when  critics  crude  have  spoke, 

Because,  for  sober  savant  taking  him, 

His  metaphysics  made  them  miss  his  joke. 


Humor  s  Iliad.  129 

The  boldest  book  bewildering  the  breast, 
The  strangest  words  by  skeptic  science  said, 

May  shrine  untold,  unutterable  jest, 
Througn  impulse  impotent  to  make  it  read. 

No  longer  lag  a  limit  to  install 

Between  the  gay  and  grave,  in  petty  poise ; 
But  learn — save  heaven's  high  writ — to  laugh  at 
all 

Of  knowledge,  nonsense,  knavery  and  noise. 


i3°  Studies  in  Stanzas, 


THE  JESTER'S  BURIAL. 

IN  the  land  of  Aibmuloc, 

Lo,  a  host,  in  motley  drest, 
Bear,  in  last,  fantastic  march, 

Mij,  the  jester,  to  his  rest ! 

Hues  of  crimson,  blue  and  gold, 
Quaint  and  garish,  glow  and  shine  ; 

E'en  the  shrouded  cap  and  bells 
Nod  and  tinkle  down  the  line. 

These,  the  colors  of  his  life, 

Round  the  sable  of  his  bier, 
Mock  the  pity  of  the  sight, 

Like  a  rainbow  on  a  tear. 

Through  the  roll  of  muffled  drums, 

Through  the  trumpet's  measured  blare, 

Steal  the  distant  medley  sounds 
Of  a  ribald,  dancing  air ! 


The  Jesters  Burial.  131 

His  in  life  to  follow  them, 

When  the  dizzy  whirl  was  fast, 

Blending  ghastly  with  a  knell, 
Now  they  follow  him  at  last. 

In  the  tinsel  home  he  left 

May  be  those  whose  eyes  are  dim ; 
But  in  all  the  gazing  crowd 

None  there  are  to  weep  for  him. 

Looking  where  his  corse  is  borne, 
They,  who  bore  his  laughing  rule, 

Smile  at  later  folly's  birth, 
In  the  dying  of  the  fool. 

Not  a  sigh  to  honor  now 

All  the  merry  jests  he  gave ; 
Not  a  friendly  hand  to  cast 

Flow'rs  upon  the  jester's  grave. 

One  is  dead  whose  daring  mirth 

Pride  abashed  and  honor  vext, 
Virtue  mocked  and  truth  defied — 

One  is  dead — and  live  the  next ! 


132  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Winds  the  dismal  pageant  show 
In  its  tawdry  pomp  along, 

Like  the  burden  of  a  dirge 
Striving  with  a  drinker's  song. 

What  shall  be  the  preacher's  words 
When  before  the  cross  he  brings 

Pleadings  for  the  motley  fool 
To  the  mighty  King  of  kings  ? 

In  the  land  of  Aibmuloc 

They  have  cited  to  the  crown, 

Not  the  wisdom  of  the  wise, 

But  the  colors  of  the  clown; — 

From  the  glories  of  the  court, 
From  the  barony  of  gold, 

Spurned  the  slower  modest  worth, 
For  the  folly  that  is  bold. 

Poor  the  prize  that  merit  wins, 
Toiling  in  a  grave  behest, 

When  the  treasures  of  a  realm, 
Are  the  guerdon  of  a  jest! 


•        The  Jester  s  Burial.  133 

God  is  just ;  and  who  shall  say, 
If,  where  none  may  dare  to  mock, 

Mij,  the  jester,  he  will  blame, 
Or  the  land  of  Aibmuloc? 


BALLADS  AND   BROADSIDES. 


(135) 


A  Fable  of  Finance.  137 


A  FABLE  OF  FINANCE. 

THERE  was  a  rich  banker  in  Wall   street    re 
nowned, 

With  clerks  a  small  army  and  desks  all  around ; 
His  offices  stately  presented  a  mass 
Of  fancy  black  walnut  and  costly  plate-glass. 

CHORUS. 

Properly  rebuking  impertinent  curiosity  as  to  a  matter  of  strict 
ly  private  concern : 

In  the  banking,  insurance  or  railroading  line, 
'Tis  the  custom  your  rivals  in  style  to  outshine  ; 
But  if  pressed  with  the  question,  whence  cometh 

the  pay  ? 
I  must  answer — Ri-tooral,  ri-tooral,  li-day. 

This  banker  received  the  deposits  of  those 
Who  wanted  them  safe  from  burglarious  foes  ; 
And  likewise  of  people  with  funds  to  invest 
In  ventures  returning  the  interest  best. 


138  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

CHORUS. 

Explaining  how  you  pay  your  interest  upon  the  deposits  left 
with  you,  and  yet  make  a  small  stake  by  the  generous 
transaction  : 

When  you  give  me  your  riches  to  keep  till  you 

call, 

In  a  stock  or  a  loan  do  I  put  them  out  all. 
But  supposing  stock  falls,  or  the  loan's  lost,  you 

say  ? 
Then  it's — Tooral,  ri-tooral,  ri-tooral,  li-day  ! 

No  end  of  accounts  in  this  manner  came  in, 
Of  anxious  to  save,  and  of  anxious  to  win  ; 
And  ev'ry  one  said,  what  a  fortune  must  be 
Inclosed  in  the  vaults  of  this  man's  treas-u-ry. 

CHORUS. 

Showing  that  therein  exists  a  trifling  error,  scarcely  worth  men 
tioning  : 

It's  quite  banking  custom  such  fortunes  to  lend 
To  a  railroad  or  bank  for  its  next  dividend  ; 
Then  if  all  goes  on  well  there's  usurious  pay, 
If  it  doesn't — Ri-tooral,  ri-tooral,  li-day  ! 


A  Fable  of  Finance.  139 

At  last  the  rich  banker  in  finances  skilled, 
With    schemes  for  a  highway  most  novel  was 

filled  ; 
The  same  to  be  called,  when  its  tracks  were  all 

laid, 
The  Huge-Universal-Mid-Bound'ry-Up-Grade. 

CHORUS. 

Coolly  setting  forth  the  geography  of  this  great  undertaking,  and 
its  sources  of  rich  revenues. 

'Twas  from  pole  unto   pole  that  this  highway 

should  go, 

To  the  great  open  sea  of  the  Arctic,  you  know ; 
Many  tourists  take  up,  bears  and  seals   bring 

away, 
With  a — Tooral,  ri-tooral,  ri-tooral,  li-day  ! 


He  called  on  the  rich  to  subscribe  for  the  shares, 
And  also  the  poor  who  would  be  millionaires. 
Twas  interest  in  gold  they  would  pay  in  a  trice 
Secured  by  a  good  bond  and  mortgage  on  ice. 


14°  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

CHORUS. 

Defining  the  great  ease  of  manner  with  which  aforesaid  interest 
could  be  paid  : 

From  the  money  paid  down  for  the  stock,  he 
could  meet 

All  the  interest  prescribed,  till  the  road  was  com 
plete  ; 

And,  at  last,  if  the  work  didn't  happen  to  pay, 

Why  the  shares  were— Ri-tooral,  ri-tooral,  li- 
day ! 

With  praise  of  the  scheme  ev'ry  paper  was  full, 
And  each  money-editor  in  it  a  "  bull ;" 
'Twill  greatly  develop  our  country,  they  said, 
And  show  if  John  Franklin's  alive  or  is  dead. 

CHORUS. 

Delicately  intimating  why  journalism  is  never  backward  in  en 
couraging  a  noted  public  enterprise  of  this  nature  : 

There  are  journals  so  sanguine  of  railroad  suc 
cess, 

That  a  part  of  the  stock  they  themselves  may 
possess ; 


A  Fable  of  Finance. ,   '  141 

And  if  how  they  came  by  it  you'd  have  them 

betray , 
They  will  tell  you — Ri-tooral,  ri-tooral,  li-day ! 

The  banker's  depositors  caught  at  the  thing, 
And  cried,  let  us  into  this  gold-bearing  ring : 
And  so  did  the  people  all  over  the  land, 
Who  other  stocks  had,  or  the  money  on  hand. 

CHORUS. 

Expressive  of  the  childlike  trust  reposed  in  the  wisdom  and 
honor  of  the  few  by  the  many  : 

If  a  few  wealthy  men  of  good  mercantile  fames, 
To  an  enterprise  lend  their  respectable  names, 
It  must  surely  be  just  what  its  managers  say — 
Or  the  signers  are — Tooral,  ri-tooral,  li-day ! 


Then  ten  savings  banks  purchased  shares  in  it 

too, 
And  banks  of  all  kinds  bought  the  stock  as  it 

grew  ; 

And  model  trust  companies  took  it  in  trade, — 
This  Huge-Universal-Mid-Bound'ry-Up-Grade. 


H2  •     Studies  in  Stanzas. 

CHORUS. 

Indicating  the  judicious  policy  followed  by  such  institutions  in 
such  case : 

If  your  trust-institution,  your  bank,  or  its  like, 
On  a  good  speculation  believes  it  can  strike, 
It  is  not  slow  to  reap  what  it  can  in  that  way ; 
Though    it    sometimes — Ri-tooral,   ri-tooral,   li- 
day  ! 

At  last  there  were  millions  invested  therein, 
And  waiting  for  trips  on  the  road  to  begin, 
When  some  one   discovered,   and   told   with   a 

bawl, 
No  road  of  the  kind  had  been  builded  at  all ! 

CHORUS. 

Informing  the  reader  how  it  might  have  happened  that  the  H. 
U.  M.  B.  U.  G.  was  not  built : 

In  the  cost  of  proclaiming  the  bonds  are  for  sale 
And  of  working  the  market  that  holders  shan't 

fail, 

Such  a  very  large  sum  is  exhausted,  some  way, 
That  the  railroad  itself  is — Ri-tooral,  li-day ! 


A  Fable  of  Finance.  143 

Down  tumbled  the  stock,  with  a  rush,   at  the 

sound, 

And  banks,  brokers,  buyers,  in  frenzy  were  found  ; 
And  when  to  the  banker  the  multitude  went, 
They  found  he'd  "  suspended  "  and  paid  not  a 

cent! 

CHORUS. 

To  be  sung  with  great  animation  in  the  nearest  bankrupt  court: 

There   are  railroads  too  many  this  day   in  the 

land, 
And  the  stock  of  the  best  scarcely  profits  the 

hand  ; 
But  to  buy  into  more,  with  the  hope  that  they'll 

pay, 

Is  a — Tooral,  ri-tooral,  ri-tooral,  li-day  } 


144  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


CONDENSED  TRAGEDIES. 

Vide  the  daily  papers. 

GREENE  saw  the  boat  was  off,  and  wildly  flew 

for  it. 
The  life  insurance  folks  cried,  u  Let  'em  sue  for 

it" 

Jane  used  camphene  to  light  her  fire  the  faster. 
"  We  lay  her  to  her  rest,"  intoned  the  pastor. 

Smith  blew  the  gas  out  ere  the  bed  he  glided  for, 
Leaving  his  family  quite  unprovided  for. 

To  learn  if   charged,  Jones   breathed   into   his 

fowling-piece. 
His  widow's  uncle  will  support  his  howling  niece. 

Brown  thought  he'd  flirt  with  Simpson's  wife  a 

little. 
The  jury  stood  a  dozen  for  acquittal. 


Condensed   Tragedies.  H5 

"  I'll  shave,"  said  Ruth,  of  woman's  rights  the 

forerunner. 
"  The  razor  must  have  slipped,"  observed  the 

coroner. 

Stiles  jumped  to  reach  a  moving  rail-car's  plat 
form. 
A  home's  bereavement  shocking  is  in  that  form. 

"  What  whisky  one  can  stand,"  said  Tompkins, 

"try,  oh,  let's." 
His  sleep  is  sweet  beneath  the  early  violets. 

His  shop-girls  put  on  top-most  floor  did  Blaney. 
After  the  fire  they  didn't  count  so  many. 

Jinks   tried   to   stop,  by  hand,  a   something-or- 

other-in'  saw. 
"  My  daughter's   next  shan't  smoke,"  remarked 

his  mother-in-law. 


146  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  COMMON  LOT. 

IT  was  a  solid  Boston  man, 

Majestic  as  a  stork, 
Who  thought  to  have  another  scan — 

A  skeptic  from  New  York— 
Without  preparing  for  the  thing, 

His  city's  ancient  pride, 
That  Common  which  she  thinks  a  king 

Would  joy  to  be  inside. 


He  took  thereto,  by  devious  ways, 

The  infidel  in  charge, 
Through  winding  streets  in  grievous  maze, 

And  alleys  small  and  large  ; 
Not  saying  whither  he  would  lead, 

Nor  yet  intending  to, 
Until  the  transcendental  mead 

Should  burst  upon  their  view. 


The  Common  Lot.  147 

At  last  a  sudden  corner  turned, 

There  beamed  upon  the  sight 
That  vision  the  Bostonian  yearned 

To  have  his  friend  delight ; 
And  then— alas  !  the  bitter  cup 

Commended  on  the  spot  !— 
"  Why  don't  you  build  your  city  up  ? 

Who  owns  that  vacant  lot?" 


i48  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  COMIC  CHRISTIAN  CLERGYMAN. 

OF  all  the  incongruities  terrestrial  nature  shows — 
The  splendid  peacock's  horrid  voice,  the  thorn 

beneath  the  rose, 
The  lowest  range  of  reason  joined  to  beauty's 

highest  air — 

There's  none,  for  shocking  mortal  sense  of  fitness, 
can  compare 

With  the  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time. 

By  bonds  of  poor  estate  in  youth  to  humblest 

schools  confined, 
And  then,   mayhap,    in  knowledge   versed — of 

Western  college  kind  ; 
Too  crude  to  doctor  bodies  sick,  or  as  attorney 

plod, 
He's  bold  to  dose  the  dying  soul,  and  prate  the 

laws  of  God — 

Is  the  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time. 


The   Comic   Christian   Clergyman.      149 

Within  the  rustic  meeting  house  installed  at  first, 
he  sees 

That  something  of  a  startling  sort  with  common 
taste  agrees, 

And  burns  therein  to  emulate  your  city  preach 
er's  fame, 

By  saying  things  unorthodox,  and  earning  thus 
the  name 

Of  a  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time. 


Tis  whispered  in  the  mighty  town,  a  "stunner'* 
new  is  found  ! 

(Perhaps  a  funny  lecture  there  he  tries,  the  way 
to  sound,) 

Then  comes  a  picked  committee  forth,  of  church 
men  great  and  small, 

To  hear,  to  laugh  with  aching  sides,  and  straight 
way  give  a  call, 

To  this  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time. 


15°  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

They  build  a  spacious  church  for  him,  fantastic  in 

its  style, 
With  graces  of  the  play-house  form  in  gallery 

and  aisle ; 

And  on  a  structure   like  a  stage  the  arch-per 
former  stands, 

Prepared  to  beat  the  best,  if  need,  by  walking  on 
his  hands, 

Like  a  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time. 

Then  to  the  sacred  edifice  the  population  pour, 
With  expectation  of  a  treat  surpassing  all  before  ; 
The  sermon  is  to  show  that  Paul  was  fogyish, 

because 

He  hadn't  been  a  Congressman — and  this  evokes 
applause 

For  the  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time. 

He  coughs,  and  then  goes  on  to  say,  that  Paul, 

in  all  his  life, 
Appeared  opposed  to  woman's  rights — but  never 

had  a  wife ; 


The  Comic  Christian  Clergyman.     15 J 

For  had  he  owned  the  sex's  sway,  not  thus  speak 

out  he'd  dare ! 

And  all  his  hearers  laugh  and  say — he  surely  had 
him  there  ! 

Did  our  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time. 


The  clap  of  hands,  the  trill  of  mirth,  respond  to 

him  throughout 
His  most  facetious  ministry  and  wild  rhetoric 

rout; 
And  when  his  windy  book  appears,  uncouth  of 

tone  and  wit, 
A  more   amusing   moral    work,  they  say,    was 

never  writ 

By  a  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time. 

His  greatest  joke  of  all,  howe'er,  is  when  his 

church  is  burned, 
And  he  and  all  his  motley  flock  upon  the  town 

are  turned : 


i$2  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  Since  Providence  makes  light  of  it,  our  church 

was  naught ! "     He  !  He ! 

"  Let's    hire    a  theater,   and   hold   a  fancy-fair 
levee," 

Says  the  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time. 


This  giving  of  a  hum'rous  twist  to  serious  mis 
hap, 

Another  gorgeous  feather  adds  unto  the  jester's 
cap; 

But  when  he  marries,  on  the  stage,  in  masquer 
ade,  a  pair 

He's  advertised  to  come  and  be  a  feature  of  the 
fair — 

What  a  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time ! 

Not  ours  to  doubt  his  honesty,  since  mean  the 

right  he  may  ; 
Yet  in  another  manner,  far,  the  Master  walked 

his  way ; 


The  Comic  Christian  Clergyman.     153 

The  high  of  soul,  the  meek  of  heart,  the  humble 

unto  death, 

How  different,  in  his  solemn  truth,  was  he  of 
Nazareth 

From  the  comic  Christian  preacher, 
One  of  the  latest  time. 


When  gather  dark  the  clouds  upon  the  spirit  in 

despair, 
And  thunders  of   the  judgment  roll  around  it 

ev'rywhere, 
For  him  that  gave  the  scoffer's  sneer  the  potency 

to  kill, 
What  if  the  dying  hand  should  point — and  e'en 

be  pointing  still — 

At  a  comic  Christian  clergyman, 
One  of  the  latest  time ! 


i$4  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


BALLOON    BALLADS. 

As  inflated  by  different  illustrious  types  of  poetic  genius. 


BALLOON  HIM  OF  THE  REPUBLIC. 

BY  J — LIA   W — RD   H — WE. 

You  may  call  it  "she,"  the  aerostat  that  breasts 

the  balmy  blue, 
You  may  speak  of  "  her  "  ascending  till  the  earth 

is  lost  to  view  ; 
But  the  sex  contemned  as  feminine  has  naught 

with  it  to  do, 

Nor  assists  its  soaring  on. 

In  the  buoyancy  of  gases  it  may  hover  wide  and 

far, 
With  a  row  of  bearded  faces  in  its  viriclusive 

car  ; 
From  its  company  of  voyagers  excluded  women 

are, 

As  the  thing  goes  soaring  on. 


Balloon  Ballads.  *55 

On  the  earth  a  jealous  tyrant,  so  in  airy  currents 

high, 
It  is  man  that  layeth  woman  like  a  useless  bauble 

by; 

Scarcely  worth  his  worldly  notice,  shall  he  take 
her  to  the  sky, 

When  himself  goes  soaring  on  ? 

Then  assign  a  proper  gender  to  your  bubble  of 

the  breeze, 

Let  it  be  a  virile  he,  or  it,  or  anything  you  please, 
For  'tis  not  a  she,  by  any  means,  that  sails  side 
real  seas, 

And  for  man  goes  soaring  on. 


MOSE. 

BY  BR — T  H — RTE. 

DUFFER'S  BAR,  1872. 

— HERE  !  another  round  jerk  us, 
And  trust  me  for  paying — 
So,  as  I  was  saying, 
We  went  up  from  the  circus ; 


Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Only  us  two, 
Me  and  my  crew, 
A  goggle-eyesing,  pig-despising, 
Curly-headed  Jew. 

Why,  ballooning's  no  trouble ; 
When  cut  is  your  lashing, 
If  nothing  gets  smashing, 
You  go  up  like  a  bubble — 
Only,  you  see, 
'Twixt  you  and  me, 
An  extra  poun'  may  bring  you  down  a 
Little  bit  too  free. 


And  we  had  it  that  day,  too ! 
Ahead  was  the  water, 
In  which  we'd  be  caught,  or 
Must  rise  higher,  and  lay  to. 
Still  we  sank  on, 
Ballast  all  gone ; 

Without  a  hope  to  loop  a  rope  to 
Aught  the  land  upon. 


Balloon  Ballads.  i$7 

"  Well,  let  one  of  us  perish 
-     For  sake  of  the  other— 

You've  been  like  a  brother — 
For  my  life  I'm  don't-care-ish," 
Whispered  so  true, 
Moses,  my  crew ; 

"  I'm  bound  to  jump  it,  like  or  lump  it, 
Overboard  for  you !  " 

I'd  give  five  hundred  dollars. 
But  just  to  put  eye  on 
(Excuse  me  for  cry  in') 
The  dear  chap  that  I  allers 

Mourn  for  since  then — 
Seen  not  again — 

As  a  dear  departed,  noble-hearted 
Miracle  of  men. 


What  is  that  you  are  saying  ? 
"  Suppose  he  ain't  dead,  hey  t 
But  struck  on  his  head,  hey  ? " 

With  my  feelings  you're  playing, — 


Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Do  I  see  true  ? 
Why — Mose — it's  YOU  ! — 
You  goggle-eyesing,  pig-despising, 
Curly-headed  Jew ! 


LAUS  THETIS. 

BY  ALG — RN — N  CH — RLES  SW — NB — RNE. 

As  on  Sepia's  shoreland  the  golden, 
Where  the  waters  of  Thessaly  shine, 

Sprang  Peleus,  in  the  days  that  were  olden, 
After  azure-tressed  Thetis  divine  ; 

As  he  strove  in  her  flying  to  reach  her, 
Whom  by  Zeus  to  his  reaching  was  given  ; 

As  he  followed  the  swift-footed  creature 
Of  heaven ; 

As  he  urged  but  his  going  the  faster, 

When  the  nymph  to  a  serpent  transformed; 

As  his  will  was  unswerving  her  master, 
When  as  fire  or  as  torrent  she  stormed  ; 


Balloon  Ballads.  159 

As  he  mocked  at  her  lioness-roaring, 

And  still  knew  the  beloved  of  Poseidon  ; 
As  his  hell  changed,  by  Cheiron's  imploring, 
To  Eden ; 


So  the  vessel  that  soars  to  the  azure 

A  cerulean  Thetis  pursues, 
Through  the  serpentine  cloudy  embrasure, 

With  its  chryselephantinous  hues. 
Though  the  lightning  and  tempest,  like  devils, 

Should  oppose, by  their  fury  unriven, 
The  balloon  beats  at  last  the  blue  levels 
Of  heaven ! 


INFATUOSITY. 

BY   TH — S   C — R — YLE. 

AT  the  tale  of  a  flatulent  sphere, 
In  a  flimsy  contrivance  of  strings, 

They  suppose  to  the  planets  they're  near, 
On  their  gas-house-bituminous  wings. 


160  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Never  knowing  which  way  they  may  go, 
Nor  the  moment  in  which  they  may  drop  ; 

To  their  asinine  brothers  below 
They're  as  ants  on  the  peg  of  a  top. 

It's  as  well  that  the  race  should  be  free 
From  the  idiots  wasting  its  sup : 

And,  since  some  won't  go  down,  as  we  see, 
Tis  a  blessing  that  some  can  go  up. 

Twixt  the  zanies  of  fame  and  of  pelf 
I've  become  so  disgusted  of  late, 

That  I'd  fain  have  the  world  to  myself, 
With  my  Goethe  and  Frederick  the  Great. 


THE    SAINTED    DAMOSEL. 

BY  D — NTE  G — BRIEL  R — S — TTI. 

IT  was  a  sainted  damosel 

From  heavenly  casement  leaned  and  prayed ; 
"  The  sun  and  stars  below  are  well, 
And  shines  th'  ethereal  asphodel, 

And  hovering  angels  chorus  swell ; 
But  I'm  a  lonely  maid  !  " 


Balloon  Ballads.  161 

The  winds,  enamored,  heard  the  pray  V, 
That  made  her  snowy  bosom  throb  ; 

And,  waving  wild  their  arms  of  air, 

As  she  her  own  so  soft  and  fair, 
Gave  echoing  answer  of  despair, 
In  zeph'rous,  soughing  sob. 


A  mortal,  wandering  round  the  moon, 
The  dreary  moaning  overheard, 
And  being  in  a  large  balloon, 
Much  ballast  he  cast  over  soon, 
Till,  fluttering  like  a  dove  in  June, 
He  rose  to  heavens  third. 


"  Why  murmur,  lovely  saint  ?  "  he  cried, 
"  In  realms  of  radiant',  endless  bliss?  " 

"  Because  I  yearn  for  thee,"  she  sighed  ; 

"  Oh,  pause,  young  man,  and  here  abide. 
I'm  sorrowing  for  the  world  denied, 
And  lonely  am  in  this.'.' 

6 


1 62  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  I  cannot  stay,  alas  !  "  he  ple'd, 
"  The  world  you  name,  still  claims  my  aid. 
Are  no  young  men  in  heaven  instead  ?  " 
"  Ah,  yes ;  but  they're  so  good  !  "  she  said ; 
And  piteous  sighed,  as  on  he  sped. 
"  Oh,  I'm  a  lonely  maid ! " 


Underwriteousness.  163 


UNDERWRITEOUSNESS. 

HE  rose  with  early  day 
And  sought  the  broad  highway, 
His  features  fine  effulgent  with   the  good   he 
meant  to  do ; 

By  three  score-years-and-ten 
An  elder  amongst  men, 

This  morning  made  his  manful  youth  return  as 
good  as  new. 


With  one  benignant  roar 
He  tripped  from  door  to  door, 
His    sparkling    spectacles    agleam   with  pity's 
purest  light : 

"  Turn  out ;  and  give  your  best 
To  succor  the  distrest ! " 

And  thundered  at  each  threshold's  verge  with 
rude,  resounding  might. 


164  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Up  went  the  windows  high, 
Between  the  earth  and  sky, 
While  heads    in  rumpled  rows  came  forth   to 
answer  the  alarm  ; 

And  all  were  much  surprised 
When  they  had  recognized 

The  good,  gray-headed  gentleman  who'd  broken 
slumber's  charm. 


His  form  impatient  swelled, 
As  louder  yet  he  yelled — 

"  Lose  not  a  minute  more,  my  friends,  but  haste 
and  give  your  aid  ; 
A  mighty  city*  swept 
By  fire  while  you  have  slept, 
Craves  quick  compassion  to  repair  the  ruthless 
ruin  made  ! 


"  One  hundred  thousand  souls, 
Where  flame  in  torrent  rolls, 
Burned  out  of  house  and  home  and  hope,  must 
helped  this  moment  be  ; 

*  Chicago,  October,  1871. 


Underwriteousness.  165 

And  bankrupt  at  the  call 
Are  underwriters  all — 

Except    the    Non-Combustion    Fire    Insurance 
Company ! 

"  Turn  out  with  might  and  main, 
I  beg  of  you  again  ; 

Nor  lose  a  moment  in  the  strife  of  sending  succor 
straight ; 

For  money,  food  and  dress, 
In  want  and  nakedness, 

Woe-wasted  men  all  weary  watch,  and  weeping 
women  wait ! " 

They  paused  to  hear  no  more, 
But  flew  to  give  their  store — 
The  rich  the  richer  rivaling,  the  poor  to  proffer 
pence ; 

And  surging  to  the  street, 
With  money,  clothes  and  meat, 
Inquired  the  rightful  railway  routes  to  haste  the 
harvest  hence. 


1 66  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

The  minds  of  high  and  low, 
Compassionate  aglow, 

Thought  only  if  the  giver's  gift  would  first  of 
freight  afford ; 

•    While  ever,  here  and  there, 
With  urging  voice  and  air, 

Besought  that  bustling  gentleman  large  lending 
to  the  Lord. 

"  You  railroad  men,"  he  cried, 
"  Expressmen,  too,  beside, 

And  drivers  divers,  different,  of  costly  coach,  or 
cart, 

If  you  are  Christian  men, 
Give  free  conveyance,  then, 
To  bounty  boundlessly  bestowed  by  human  hand 
and  heart 

"  Heap  high  the  great  and  small 
Free  off'rings  from  us  all ; 

For  smallest  succor  sent  with  speed  will  warmest 
welcomed  be. 


Underwriteousness.  167 

The  underwriters  best 
Are  beggared  with  the  rest — 
Except    the    Non-Combustion    Fire     Insurance 
Company ! " 

• 

The  people  thus  inspired, 
To  nobler  giving  fired, 

On  cart  and  carriage,  truck  and  train,  their  pre 
cious  parcels  piled ; 

While  wondering  as  they  ran, 
What  blessed  kind  of  man 

Was  this  who  claimed  complete  control  and  went 
with  waiting  wild  ? 

And  yet  he  spurred  them  on, 
When  train  on  train  had  gone, 
And  called  for  contributions  casting  Croesus  in 
•  the  shade ; 

"  But  fifty  thousand,  you  ! 
Who're  richer  than  a  Jew  ? 

Why,  where's  the  wealth  your  wit  has  won  in 
tributary  trade? 


1 68          .        Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  A  hundred  thousand  make 
Your  charitable  stake, 

Or  find  the  furtive  fiend  of  fire  some  day  your 
debtor  dread ! 

And  you,  who  offer  femr 
Of  thousands  full  a  score — 
I'm  'shamed  to  shake  the  halting  hand  that  heeds 
such  haggling  head ! 

"  More  money,  yet,  I  say  : 
Or  there  will  come  a  day, 

When,  should  our  sov'reign  city,  here,  its  own 
consuming  see, 

Ourselves  may  lose  our  all — 
Except  the  risks  that  fall 

Upon  the  Non-Combustion  Fire  Insurance  Com 
pany  !  " 

Then  all  the  people  cheered, 
As  though  there  had  appeared 
A  saint  supreme  amongst  them,  driving  each  to 
duty  due ; 


Underwriteousness.  169 

And  followed  him  in  ranks, 
From  humblest  shops  to  banks, 
To   do   the  good   that   underwriters    damaged 
didn't  do. 

But  when  the  day  was  o'er, 
And  ceased  the  rush  and  roar, 
So  charged  with  Christian  charity  and  prodigal 
of  pelf, 

The  question  did  arise, 
'Mid  more  or  less  surprise, 

Who  is  this  good  old  gentleman,  and  what  gave 
he  himself? 

It  proved,  in  the  event, 

That  he  was  president 

Of  that  same  Non-Combustion  Fire  Insurance  he 
did  laud : 

And  as  for  what  he  gave, 

The  uninsured  to  save — 
He  hadn't  given  anything,  the  venerable  fraud  ! 


Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  BOSTON  MAN. 

November,  9,  1872. 

SLOWLY  a  Boston  man 

Fried  in  his  store, 
Where,  seeking  salvage,  he'd 

Gained  upper  floor ; 
Singing,  "  A  threnody 

Write  for  me  now, 
Julia  Ward — Julia  Ward — 

Julia  Ward  Howe!" 

Came  a  fire  company 

Under  the  sash, 
Rearing  the  ladders  there. 

Quick  as  a  flash  : 
Crying,   '  To  rescue  thee 

Norwich  ascends  ; 
Boston  man,  Boston  man, 

Help  bring  thy  friends !  " 


The  Boston  Man. 

Peered  then  the  Boston  man 

Down  through  the  smoke, 
O'er  where  the  ladder-end 

Casement  had  broke  ; 
Asking  with  dignity — 

"  Answer  me  true — 
Norwich  men,  Norwich  men, 

What  would  ye  do?" 

Up  spake  a  Norwich  man. 

Poised  on  a  rung, 
Breaking  the  sashes  in, 

Red  sparks  among — 
"  We,  by  thy  city's  light, 

Come  to  assist ; 
Boston  man,  Boston  man, 

Give  us  thy  fist ! " 

Back  sprang  the  Boston  man, 

Splendidly  proud, 
Saying,  while  flames  around 

Wove  him  a  shroud  : 


172  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  Outside  assistance  is 
Of  him  the  scorn, 

Gentlemen,  gentlemen, 
Who's  Boston-born ! !  "6 


Wildly  the  Norwich  men 
Swarmed  up,  amain, 

Vainly  to  rescue  him 
Seen  not  again ; 

And  e'en  a  threnody 
\\  rites  for  him  now 

Julia  Ward— Julia  Ward- 
Julia  Ward  Howe! 


Chicken  and  Eggs  are  Out,          173 


CHICKEN  AND  EGGS  ARE  OUT. 

A  FARM   BALLAD   OF   THE    PERIOD. 

Go,  hide  the  coop,  there,  Betsey,  and  nail  the 

hen-house  stout ; 
We've   city  boarders   comin',  and  chicken   and 

eggs  are  out. 
Since  Will  M.  Carleton  made  us  the  talk  so  far 

and  wide, 
There's  been  no  end  of  town-folks  for  summer 

board  applied./ 


The  first  one  writin'  to  us, — that  preacher,  as  he 

said, — 
About   our  little  rampage  and  making-up    had 

read  ; 
Our  story  'd  touched  his  feelin's,  and  would  we 

strive  to  take 
His  fam'ly  for  the  season,  and  some  deduction 

make  ? 


174  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

He  only  wanted  quiet,  and  simply  sun  and  air, 
With  eggs  and  milk  and  chickens,  and  such-like 

country  fare  ; 
He  wouldn't  press  for  oysters ;  but  veg'tables 

and  fruit, 
Could  not  be  served  too  frequent,  himself  and 

wife  to  suit. 

For  this   he'd  give  three   dollars,  for  each,  all 

round,  per  week, 
And  hoped  our  house  was  roomy — why,  dang 

his  'tarnal  cheek ! 
If  I  was  worth  a  million,  and  twice  as  much  he 

paid, 
I  wouldn't  feed  a  stomach  by  preachin*  empty 

made. 

The  next  one  seekin'  quarters  was  sick,  he  wrote, 

of  style, 
And  wished  his  dame  and  daughters  to  rusticate 

a  while; 
For,  what  with  Saratoga,  and  Newport,  in  the 

past, 
He'd  found  his  purse  and  patience  were  runnin' 

out  too  fast, 


Chicken  and  Eggs  are  Out.          i75 

And,  would  we  b'lieve,  our  story  had  moved 
them  all  to  tears  ; 

And  had  we  first-floor  bed-rooms,  with  bath 
rooms  in  their  rears  ? 

They  wouldn't  ask  for  livin'  in  costly  city  way  ; 

But  milk  and  eggs  and  poultry,  must  have  three 
times  a  day. 

The  three  young  girls'  dyspepsia  would  call  for 
graham  bread, 

And  Madame  took  her  coffee  at  early  dawn  in 
bed; 

And  for  himself  at  breakfast,  he'd  take  a  beef 
steak  rare, 

Nor  think  ten  dollars,  weekly,  for  all,  much  more 
than  fair. 

It's  one  thing  for  a  poet  our  honest  hearts  to 

praise, 
And  another,  keepin'  boarders,  that  profit  us  no 

ways; 
I   answered,   quite   sarcastic,  "Just  call   when 

you're  about, 
And  find,  by  knockin'  vainly,  that  Betsey  and  I 

are  out ! " 


i/6  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Then  there  was  what-you-call-him,  the  scrawling 
writer  chap, 

Who'd  read  the  poem  careful  about  our  old  mis 
hap, 

And  thought  a  woman  wrote  it,  because  she 
made  the  claim, 

And  said  that  if  she  didn't,  to  cross  her  was  a 
shame. 

"  We  can't  go  back   on   women,"   his  self-same 

letter  ran, 

At  least  'twould  be  unworthy  a  literary  man ; 
Our  mother's  sex  we  worship,  or  we  should   be 

but  churls ; 
I  hope  you've   got  for  neighbors   some   lively 

country  girls. 

"  My  wife  is  at  her  mother's,  and  I  am  out  at 

grass; 
With  a  taste  for  new-churned  butter,  and  cream, 

and  rural  lass. 
Just  give  me  trout  for  breakfast,  and  then  what 

else  you  please, 
And  a  little  apple-brandy  to  wash  down  bread 

and  cheese. 


Chicken  and  Eggs  are  Out.  *77 

"  I  only  ask  for  freedom  to  come  and  go  at  will, 

And  the  right  of  fishin'  Sundays  by  the  nearest 
water-mill ; 

And  a  dash  of  sage  and  onions  with  the  canvas- 
duck  at  noon, 

And  the  use  of  team  and  wagon  whenever  there's 
a  moon. 

"  We  authors  don't  reap  fortunes,  and  so  you'll 

make  your  charge 
Proportioned  to  my  calling,  and  anything  but 

large ; 
I'll  pay  you,  on  my  honor,  you  needn't  fear  a 

bit- 
As  soon  as  my  book  can  compass  a  publisher  for 

it." 

If  I'd  a  gift  of  scribblin',  so  glib  as  that  and  cool, 
I'd  make  a   mountain   of   dollars   by  teachin'  a 

writin'  school. 
"  If  ever  your  brass,"  I  wrote  him,  "  some  folks 

should  take  for  tin, 
Be  certain,  for  ref 'rence,  always,  that  Betsey  and 

I  are  in  !  " 


J78  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

No  end  of  other  letters  I've  had  to  answer,  too, 
From   people   all    over    natur',    with   dollars   a 

mighty  few, 
And  over  the  hill  to  the  poor  house  we  might  as 

well  repair, 
As  deal  with  the  city  boarders  who  want  but 

country  fare. 

We've  got  one  fam'ly  comin',  from  southward,  I 
suppose, 

Who  never  have  heard  about  us  in  verse,  nor 
yet  in  prose. 

They  merely  want,  they  told  us,  a  breath  of  the 
new-mown  hay, 

And  the  kind  of  dinner-table  that  we'd  set  any 
way. 

Between  the  town-folks  selfish,  who  think  a  farm 

is  made 
Of  eggs  and  chickens  and  dairy,  for  which  no 

cash  is  paid, 
And  them,  more  free    and  foolish,   who    never 

think  a  mite, 
But  come,  when  they'd  do  better,  at  home,  a 

precious  sight — 


Chicken  and  Eggs  are  Out.          179 

We,  farming  kind,  get  riley,  to  find  the  breed  so 

flat; 
And   where's  our    human    natur'  if    we    made 

naught  by  that  ? 
We  give  to  the  ones  we  welcome  potatoes,  pork 

and  greens, 
With  apple  pie  and  doughnuts,  and  a  spice  of 

corn  and  beans. 

But  as  for  milk  and  poultry,  and  things  in  skin 

and  shell, 
We  send  them  down  to  the  city,  for  they  were 

made  to  sell  ; 
And  if  'twas  them  they  wanted,  these  folks  who 

range  and  roam, 
They  ought  to  know  where  to  buy  them,  and 

that  is  in  town,  at  home. 

So  hide  the  coop,  there,  Betsey,  and  nail  the  hen 
house  stout ; 

We've  city  boarders  comin',  and  chicken  and 
eggs  are  out; 


i8o  Stiidies  in  Stanzas. 

And,  what  is  still  more  pesky,  to  happen  the  self 
same  day, 

Our  milk  is  all  out,  likewise — until  they  have 
gone  away ! 


The   Truckee  Regatta.  181 


THE  TRUCKEE  REGATTA. 

THIS  Students'  Regatta  is  all  very  well 
For  your  Latin  and  Greek  university  swell ; 
And  callow  collegians  of  Newspaper  Row 
May  be  ready  to  stand  on  their  heads  at  the 
show. 

But  people  in  general  vote  it  a  bore, 
If  they  haven't  a  brother,  or  son  at  the  oar  ; 
While  1,  who  have  seen  what  a  boatman  can  do, 
Do  not  care  to  take  stock  in  a  Sophomore  crew. 

For  what  I  call  rowing,  from  shoulder  to  knee, 
There  were  none  like  the  men  of   the  roaring 

Truckee, 

Who  made  up  a  match  in  the  year  'Fifty-nine, 
In  the  camp  of  the  old  Santa  Barbara  mine. 

The  long  rainy  season  at  last  had  set  in, 
With  its  floods  from  the  hills,  that  came  down 
with  a  din ; 


1 82  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

They  settled  the  race  at  the  Crystal  saloon, 
In  the  time  between  deals  of  the  game  Vingt-et- 
un. 

'Twixt  Mexican  Dick  and  his  partner  in  trade, 
And  a  Yank  and  his  partners,  the  challenge  was 

made, 

In  dug-outs  to  paddle  up  stream  in  the  rain, 
That  a  purse  of  ten  ounces  the  winners  might 

gain. 

The  Yank  and  his  men  had  been  whalers  down 

East ; 
For  they  came  from  New  Bedford,  or  said  so,  at 

least ; 

And  Mexican  Dick  and  his  party  made  boast 
They  had  served  in  a  frigate  along  by  the  coast. 

No  training  or  "  coach"  for  such  oarsmen  as  these, 
But  a  license  to  eat  and  to  drink  at  their  ease ; 
They'd  muscles  like  giants,  to  lift  or  to  pull, 
And  were  tough  in  a  wrestle  when  empty  or  full. 

The  day  of  the  race  was  a  sight  to  behold, 
And  the  river  was  snowy  with  foam  as  it  rolled ; 


The   Truckee  Regatta.  183 

Yet  down  in  their  dugouts  the  gold-diggers  sat, 
And  were  off  like  the  wind,  at  the  wave  of  a  hat. 


You  talk  about  rowing !     I  shall  not  show  how 
They  were  manned  for  their  work  at  the  stroke 

and  the  bow  ; 

Nor  pause  to  describe  a  particular  burst, 
As,  with  struggle  tremendous,  each  strove  to  be 

first. 

You  need  not  be  bothered  to  hear  how  they  bent, 
And  their  ponderous  boats  through  the  element 

sent, 

Or  how,  for  an  instant,  they'd  stand  in  the  air, 
In  a  manner  like  spiders,  or  trestle-work,  there. 

The  story  is  ended  when  one  thing  is  read  : 
Though   the  dugout   of  Yank    made  the  finish 

ahead — 
"  Not  traversed  the  course,"  all  the  judges  did 

say; 
"  She  was  out  of  the  water  two-thirds  of  the 

way ! " 


l84  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


BILLIARDS. 

BY  A  RETIRED  AMATEUR. 

IN  the  days  when  I  Spotted  the  Ball, 

Where   my   meeting   Miss  Cue   none   should 
mock  at, 

Many  Runs  did  I  make  at  the  call 
Of  her  sire,  who  was  great  on  the  Pocket. 

Nothing  less  than  a  Count  of  three-score, 
If  he'd  had  his  own  way,  he'd  have  chosen ; 

And  her  cheek  grew  so  chalk-like,  I  swore 
That  the   Red   and   the   White,   there,   were 
frozen. 

All  in  vain  had  I  Banked  for  the  lead 

With  a  parent  whose  Draw  beat  me  hollow  ; 

Yet  he  made  not  a  Point  in  his  greed, 
That  I  didn't  surpass  with  a  Follow. 


Billiards.  185 

Till,  at  last,  an  unfortunate  Break, 

For  the  fortune  he'd  lost  made  him  mourner ; 
When  a  spout  at  three  balls  did  I  take 

To  deliver  him  out  of  his  corner. 

Then  he  gratefully  gave  me  a  Miss — 
Never  barring  a  Push  that  was  tinglish — 

And  he  said :  "  You  may  win  by  a  Kiss ; 

But,  be  sure,  don't  put  on  too  much  English." 

Those  were  days  when  a  shot  off  the  Spot 
Was  the  end  of  all  foul-playing  wrangle ; 

And  a  Miss,  made  for  safet}^  or  not, 
Came  with  only  a  good  honest  Angle. 

They  were  times  of  more  Phelan  than  these, 
When  to  Nurse  on  the  Rail  had  been  brassy ; 

And  the  French  of  a  stroke  that  could  please 
Wasn't  what  it  is  now — "  Lor !  a  masse  /  " 


1 86  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


A   STOOP  TO   CONQUER. 

MY  Reversible  Stoop  and  Front-door  Bell  Dis- 

suader 

Is  what  I'd  commend  unto  housekeepers  all ; 
Of  your  lives'  daily  pests  the  unfailing  evader, 
And  matchless  for  keeping  them  out  of  the 

hall. 
The  top  platform  of  stone,  or  of  wood,  has  a  pivot 

On  either  side,  hid  in  adjustable  sheath, 
And  who  clutches  your  street-bell,  a  ringing  to 

give  it, 
It  quickly  transfers  to  a  chamber  beneath. 

'Tis  a  beauty  of  this  most  benignant  invention, 
That  they  who  stand  on  it  in  manner  polite, 
Would  not  ever  find  out  its  ingenious  intention, 
'Till  told,  from  door  opened,  to  step  in  aright. 
Your   connections  and   friends  and  respectable 

callers 

Don't   tramp   to    your   threshold   as   though 
'twere  their  own, 


A  Stoop  to  Conquer.  187 

As  do  those  whom  my  stoop  is  designed  to  make 

fallers, 

Because  sure  to  tread  the  whole  width  of  the 
stone. 

Here's  the  beggar  J;hat  comes  ev'ry  day,  spite  of 

warning — 

That  all  you  can  give  is  for  others  than  her  ; 
She  goes  scuffling  her  brogans  up  each  step  this 

morning, 

And  drops  out  of  sight  with  a  magical  whir ! 
Then  there  follows  a  man  with  a  patent  clothes- 
wringer, 
Whose  nails  scratch  the  bell-pull  as  downward 

he  shoots ; 

And  a  prater  of  Wheeler  and  Wilson,  or  Singer, 
Who  sinks  as  he  scrapes  on  your  door-sill  his 
boots. 

Then  a  beggar  once  more ;  and  a  youth  who's 

inquiring 

If  this  is  a  number  he  sees  that  it's  not ; 
And  a  female  book-agent,  close  converse  desir 
ing  :— 
Each  vanishes  swift  from  the  view  like  a  shot. 


1  88  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Comes  a  wand'rer  reduced,  with  a  wedding-ring 

solid, 

His  precious  late  wife's,  'tis  his  anguish  to  sell  ; 
With    some   tickets   for   church-fair    a  juvenile 

stolid  ; 
A  beggar  again  ;  —  down  theAr  flutter,  pell-mell. 


Next,  the  person  who  asks  :  Where  is  Mr.  Jinks 

living  ? 
Quick  followed  by  one  with  tape,  needles  to 

show  ; 
And  a  book-agent,  bland,  to  rebuffs  all  forgiving  ; 

A  beggar  ;  and  man  wild  to  shovel  off  snow. 
One  who'd  ask  but  the  gift  of  an  old  pair  of 

trousers  ; 
And  one  who'd  inquire  if  you've  tin-ware  to 

mend  ; 
A     purveyor     of     pie  -apples,    called    by    him 

"  rousers  "  — 
One  after  another  they  quickly  descend. 

Then  an  old  individual  sucking  his  finger, 

To    ask   for    the    doctor,   who's   two    doors 
beyond  ; 


A  Stoop  to  Conquer.  189 

And  a  tramp  of  the  class  that  will  stamp  while 

they  linger 

Till  you  with  a  spoon  for  their  coffee  respond  ; 
A  demoralized  foreigner  raising  subscription 
To  take  him  back   home  for  his  dear  one's 

delight ; 

And  your  hand-organ  girl,  who  requires  no  de 
scription  ; 
A  beggar  or  two — and  they  go  out  of  sight. 

At  your  own  certain  hours,  when  'tis  filled  to  full 

measure, 

Examine  the  cage  of  detention  you  may, 
Picking  out  of  the  contents  what  suits  your  good 

pleasure, 

And  throwing  the  worthless  remainder  away. 
Once  a  housekeeper  looked  on  my  stoop  with 

such  rapture, 

She  left  it  all  day  to  its  saving  of  breath, 
And  then  found  that  the  book-agents,  four,  of  her 

capture, 
Had  talked  all  the  others  completely  to  death. 


19°  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Were  it  not    that   occasional  friends  from  the 

country 
Go  down,  from  promiscuous  scrapes  of  their 

feet, 
I'm  not  certain  but,  really,  that  I'd  to  be  blunt, 

try, 

The  book-agent  system  the  job  to  complete. 
As  it  is,  that  past  slave  to  the  ring,  servant-maid, 

or, 

Whoever  has  'tended  your  portal,  will  find 
My  Reversible  Stoop  and  Front-door  Bell  Dis- 

suader 
A  blessing,  indeed,  and  a  boon  to  mankind. 


The  Polished  Legal  Gentleman.       191 


THE  POLISHED  LEGAL  GENTLEMAN. 

YOUR  Chesterfields  and  Grandisons  were,  very 

probably, 

Examples  to  our  ancestors  of  true  gentility ; 
But  how  to  do  the  courteous  thing  in  courtliest 

final  way, 

Was  left  to  be  exemplified  in  this,  our  later  day, 

By  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 

One  of  the  present  time. 

We'll  say  a  case  has  come  to  him,  quite  difficult, 

no  doubt, 
Commanding  all  his  skill  profound  to  make  its 

justice  out ; 
Proportioned  to  retaining  fee,  he  sees  at  once  its 

strength — 
Or  vows  that  what  it  lacks  therein  shall  be  made 

up  in  length, — 

Like  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time. 


192  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

If  witnesses  upon  the  side  his  talents  represent 
Are  of  a  class  repugnant  to  all  decent  sentiment, 
Or  if  in  number  they  are  weak,  and,  maybe,  cir 
cumspect, 

He'll  foil  their  cross-examining  by  howling  "  I 
object ! " 

Like  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time. 

Upon  the  other  side,  perchance,  is  evidence  com 
plete, 

All  technical  perversion  of  the  statutes  to  defeat ; 
And    they    are    unimpeachable   who    come   to 

testify ; 

He  knows  a  trick  to  beat  them  yet — "  without  an 
alibi  "— 

Like  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time. 

Old  Mr.  Knickerbocker's  form  is  seen  upon  the 

stand, 
Whose  whole  career  shines  spotless  in  the  annals 

of  the  land  ; 


The  Polished  Legal  Gentleman.       193 

He  tells  what  makes  the  plaintiff's  cause  look 

ominously  dim — 

(Just  wait  till  comes  our  counsel's  turn  to  cross- 
examine  him, 

Like  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time.) 


"  Your  name  is  '  Knickerbocker  ?  '     Ah  ! — *  from 

trade  retired  ' — 1  see  ! 
Have   you    been    ever  sent  unto  the  Pen-i-ten- 

tiary  ? 
No  blust'ring  now  !  *  *  *  '  Object/  indeed  !  I'll 

to  the  court  defer, 
That  it  is  competent  to  show  his  previous  char- 

ac-ter," 

Roars  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time. 


"  I'll  thrash  you,  sir! — I'll — I'll  not  stay  to  be  in 
sulted  so !  " 
The  venerable  witness  cries,  indignantly  aglow, 

7 


1 94  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

"  What's  that  ?  You  cannot  bulldoze  ME,  my  man, 

as  you  will  find  !  " 

Replies  the  brave  possessor  of  the  true  judicial 
mind, 

Like  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time. 

The   court  here  interposes,  to   allay  unseemly 

strife, 
"  A  question  more  outrageous  I  ne'er  heard  in  all 

my  life!" 
The  blandest  of  all  voices  says  :  "  Your  honor.  I 

submit ; 
That  admonition  leaves  no  choice,  for  me,  but 

heeding  it " — 

Like  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time. 

"  Now,  Mr.  Knickerbocker,  pray,  your  temper 

hot  restrain, 
And  we'll  get  on  as  pleasantly  as  good  old  friends 

again. 


The  Polished  Legal  Gentleman.       195 

You  have  a  daughter,  I  believe,  who's  married, 

as  they  say  ?  " 

(The  question   he   insinuates   in  quite   a  genial 
way, 

Like  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time.) 


"  Well,  sir,  I  have  ;  and  what  of  that  ?  "  the  wit- 

ness  sharp  replies. 
"  Why,  then,  my  man  "  (ferociously),  "just  drop 

all  useless  lies, 
And  answer,  ON  YOUR  OATH,  if  she,  ere  to  said 

marriage  forced, 
Had  not,  by  former  husband,  been  somewhere 

out  west,  divorced  ?  " 
Yells  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time. 


If  apoplexy  ever  choked  in  passion's  mien,  'twas 

v\  hen 
That  elderly,  and  eminent,  and  honored  citizen, 


196  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

With  cheeks  empurpled  by  his  wrath,  and  cuff 

pushed  back  from  wrist, 

Unable  to  get  out  a  word,  just  shook  a  frantic 
fist 

At  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time ! 

"  What  means  such  brutal  violence  ?  "  is  counsel's 

shrill  retort. 
"  For  its   protection   I  appeal  to  this    insulted 

court !  " 
And,  skipping  back  a  step  or  two,  in  innocent 

surprise, 
On  judge  and  auditors,  he  rolls  his  deprecating 

eyes, 

Like  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the. present  time. 

"  The    case   is  closed ! "   proclaims   the   bench. 

"  No  more  we  wish  of  this ; 
And   for  defendant  we  decide,    who's   done  no 

thing  amiss." 


The  Polished  Legal  Gentleman.       197 

Then  speaks  again  that  lawyer  bland,  of  great 

a-bil-ity  : 

"  We  bow,  your  honor,  as  we  should,  unto  the 
court's  decree — " 

Like  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time. 

"  But,  ere  we  part,  I  would  withdraw  whatever 

may  reflect 
On  Mr.  Knickerbocker  here,  who  has  my  high 

respect ; 
And  what  I've  said  implying  that  his  daughter 

is  disgraced, 
I   move  may,  from  the  record,  be  immediately 

erased," 

Says  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time. 

Then  shakes  he  hands  with  all  who  will ;  nor 

seems  a  mite  to  care, 
That  Mr.  Knickerbocker  but  salutes  him  with  a 

stare  ; 


198  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

And  whispering  to  his  client  glum,  "  It's  take 

appeal  we  will !  " 

He  hurries  to  his  office  to — make  out  his  little 
bill, 

Like  a  polished  legal  gentleman, 
One  of  the  present  time. 


Squibs  for  "The  Fourth!' 


SQUIBS  FOR  "  THE  FOURTH " 

Little  lack  Horner 

Sat  in  a  corner, 
The  lock  of  his  pistol  to  try ; 

Down  the  hammer  did  come, 

And  it  blew  off  his  thumb ; 
Which  accounts  for  his  mother's  "  Oh,  my ! " 

Ding,  dong  bell ! 

The  house  is  blazing  well, 
From  the  crackers  Johnny  threw  upon  the  roof ; 

And  from  payment  might  be  free, 

The  insurance  company, 

Could   they   give  of    Johnny's    playfulness  the 
proof. 

Druggist,  druggist,  have  you  any  lint  ? 
Yes,  sir,  yes,  sir ;  serve  you  in  a  min't ! 
Baby  Jones's  cannon  went  off  before  he  thought, 
And  just  above  the  instep  the  ramrod  has  me 
caught. 


zoo  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Tom,  Tim  and  Bobby  were  gentlemen  wee, 
They  laid   in   their   beds   till   the   clock  struck 

three  ; 
Then  stole  out  ot  doors  with  squib,  powder,  and 

gun, 
And  the  sick  neighbor  died  at  the  rise  of  the 

sun. 

Sammy  had  a  Derringer, 

Its  barrel  black  as  sloe, 

And  when  the  Derringer  went  off, 

Did  Sammy's  hand,  also. 

Little  Bopeep  has  lost  his  sleep, 

Since  gunpowder  quite  undermined  him  ; 
The  matches  got  lit,  in  the  pocket  with  it, 

And  burned  most  intensely  behind  him. 

Rocket  buy  baby,  for  the  housetop. 
Point  at  a  stable,  and  then  let  it  drop  ; 
When  the  stick  breaks  the  rocket  will  fall — 
Up  burn  the  stable,  the  horses  and  all. 


Squibs  for  "The  Fourth"  201 

Say,  Roman-candle  ball,  where  are  you  going, 
That  the  frame  cottage  so  close  you  illume  ? 

I  am  a-going,  says  Roman-candle  ball, 
Into  that  open,  third-story  back  room. 

Sing  a  song  of  sixpence,  the  fourth  day  of  July, 
A  package  of  torpedoes,  with  one  to  hit  your 

eye; 

When  the  lid  is  opened  no  pupil  there  is  seen, 
you  will  wear,  until  you  die,  a  little  shade  of 
green 


202  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


THE  THIRD  TERMAGANT. 

1875. 

DOMESTIC   DETAILS  WITH  POLITICAL   PARALLELS. 

WHEN  Mr.  Redde,  the  widower,  at  first  came 

courting  me, 
I'd  no  more  thought  of  marrying  than  jumping 

in  the  sea, 
An  honorable  competence  and  place  in  life  were 

mine, 
And  I  was  happy   in   my  lot,  nor  tempted  to 

repine. 

But  he  must  have  a  wife,  they  said, — and  who  so 

fit  as  I 
To  keep  his  home  in  order  trim,  that  all  should 

satisfy  ? 
Full  many  would  no  doubt  be  glad  to  gain  so 

rich  a  prize, 
Yet  none  could  be  compared  with  me  for  favor 

in  his  eyes. 


The   Third  Termagant.  203 

In  short,  it  seemed,  society,  with  scarce  dissent 
ing  voice, 

Would  have  me  see  my  duty  in  consenting  to  its 
choice ; 

Until,  at  some  self-sacrifice,  I  let  them  have  their 
way, 

And  to  the  union  pledged  myself — to  honor  and 
obey. 

I  didn't  undertake  to  be  perfection,  in  the  bond, 
Nor  promise  what  at  last  might  prove  all  human 

pow'r  beyond ; 
But   readily  and   cheerfully  agreed   to   do   my 

best. 
And  leave  the  hand  of  Providence  to  work  out 

all  the  rest. 

Not  pausing  here  to  dwell  upon  the  private  life 

we  led — 
Which  surely  brought  no  grave  mishap  to  him 

whom  I  had  wed — 
I'll  pass  at  once  to  what  befell  because  I  would 

not  be 
The  slave  of"  this  and   that  desire    of    mixed 

society. 


2O4  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Because  T  chose,  in  quietness,  to  mind  my  own 

affairs, 
First  one  and  then  another  dame  thought  I  was 

taking  airs ; 
From  lip  to  lip  the  murmur  grew,  and  since  I'd 

not  reply, 
Their  gossip  swelled  to  calumny,  malevolent  and 

high. 

My  husband  sickened  presently  and  died ;    and 

then  'twas  said, 
I'd  boldly  planned  to  wed  again  before  the  man 

was  dead ! 
A  partner  in  his  business  they  mentioned  in  their 

spleen, 
Like  brother  to  poor  Mr.  Redde — 'tis  Mr.  Whyte 

I  mean. 

You'd  scarce  believe  the  bitter  things,  revengeful 

and  untrue, 
That    many    of    my   former  friends  'remarked 

about  us  two ; 


The   Third   Termagant.  205 

How   Mrs.    Bowles   and   Mrs.   Reid,  and    Mrs. 

Horace  White, 
And  Mrs.  Murat  Halstead,  too,  reviled  with  all 

their  might. 

Combining  with  my  older  foe,  Miss  Nancy  Mar 
ble  called, 

They  cried,  "  Another  partner's  doomed  by  her 
to  be  enthralled  !  " 

Then  clamored  scandal  ev'ry  where,  and  pitilessly 
made 

A  poor  old  lady  challenge  me,  in  rivalry  ar 
rayed  ! 

The  persecution  thus  my  fate   could  leave  me 

naught  to  choose, 
And  wooed  indeed  by  Mr.  Whyte,  I  did  not  him 

refuse. 
''  You'll  have  the  credit  otherwise  of  wanting  me 

in  vain," 
He  frankly  said.     I  knew  'twas  true — and  so  I 

wed  again. 


206  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

There's  nothing  easier  on  earth  for  malice  to 

achieve, 
Than  talking  into  being  that  at  which  it  feigns  to 

grieve ; 
The  'busy  meddlers  I  have  named,  by  envy  sheer 

and  hate, 

Thus  badgered  me  a  second  time  into  the  mar 
riage  state. 

And  being  thus  in  bonds  once  more,  I  strove — 

am  striving  still — 
To  do  my  duty  honestly,  with  ready  hand  and 

will ; 
Not   always  free  from   some   mistake — as   who 

that's  human  is? — 
I'm  loyal  to  my  husband's  rule,  to  serve  the  law 

that's  his. 

But  even  while  he's  yet  in  life,  without  a  word 
from  me, 

Those  women  I  have  spoken  of  have  the  auda 
city — 


The   Third  Termagant.  207 

Old  Mrs.  Bowles,  and  Mrs.  Reid,  and  Mrs.  Ben 
nett,  too, 

To  say  I've  set  my  cap  to  catch  a  third  one — 
Mr.  Blugh  ! 

The  force  of  envious  enmity  can  hardly  further 

go; 
And   all   because    I'll   not   descend   to   answer 

"Yes  "or  "No!" 
Already  I've  by  wiles  entrapped  two  members 

of  the  firm, 
And  must,  of  course,  be  scheming  for  a  third 

connubial  term ! 

x 

It  was  not  of  my  own  free  will  I  first  a  wife 

became ; 
They  drove  me  to  the  second  match  to  vindicate 

my  name ; 
And  now  that  Redde  and  Whyte  I've  been — the 

last,  indeed,  am  yet — 
The  final  member  of  the  firm  they  think  I'd  die 

to  get. 


Studies  in  Stanzas. 

No  thought  have  I  of  Mr.  Blugh,  as  well  they 

know.     But  should 
They  goad  me  still,  I  may  go  mad,  as  any  mortal 

would  ; 
And  in  the  end,  if  that's  the  case,  their  envy. 

spleen  and  cant, 
May  make  of  me,  despite  myself,  a  rash  Third 

Termagant 


The  Sleighing  of  Old.  209 


THE  SLEIGHING  OF  OLD. 

You  may  boast  as  you  please  of  your  present 

Broadway, 
With  its  thunder  of  wheels  through  the  whole 

winter's  day ; 
Whence  the  snow,  once  the  season's  chief  grace 

and  delight, 

Must  be  carted  away,  like  some  pestilent  blight, 
That  the  carriage,  the  'bus  and  the  wagon  of 

hire 
May  go  lumbering   yet  upon    hub,  spoke   and 

tire, 

With  no  sight  to  the  eye  and  no  sound  to  the  ear 
Of  a  change  from  the  stoniest  time  of  the  year ; — 
But  to  one  who  remembers  how  diff'rent  the 

scene 
When  old  Winter's  white  cloak  its  gay  garment 

has  been, 

It  is  only  a  skeleton,  naked  and  cold, 
Of  the  brilliant  Broadway  of  the  winters  of  old. 


210  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Not  so    many  years,   either,  have  passed  since 

the  time 
When    our  Christmas  came    in  to    the    silvery 

chime 
Of  the  bells  that  from  thence  should  as  jubilant 

ring 
To  the  steps  of  the   steed  till   the   coming   of 

spring ; 

And  the  street  of  the  city's  imperial  pride 
With  the  open  highway  of  the  countryman  vied 
In  its  splendor  of  fleecy,  prismatical  white, 
Coming  down,  its  bleak  pave  to  transform,  in  a 

night. 
What  a  vandal  were  he  who  had  breathed  but 

the  thought 

That  to  cart  it  away  prosy  aldermen  ought ! 
Had  he  spoken  the  treason,  by  boyhood's  disdain 
And  a  million  of  snowballs  the  man  had  been 

slain ! 
But  as  well  might  one  think  of  dry-mopping  the 

sea ; 
For  the  snows  in  those  days  were  of  polar  degree, 


The  Sleighing  of  Old.  211 

And   ere  one  had  found  thaw  into  trickle  and 

drop. 
There  was  always  another  to  settle  on  top. 

Twas  a  bridal    of  joy  for  transfigured  Broad 
way, 

Thus  bedraped,  as  it  were,  in  a  wedding  array ; 
'Twas  a  signal  for  something  prosaic  in  life, 
For  its  ploddings  of  care  and  its  business  strife, 
To  give  way  for  a  time  to  the  merrier  side 
That  a  true  human  nature  strives  vainly  to  hide. 

And,  as  though  they  were  not,  passed  the  wheels 

with  their  roar, 
From   the    scene  they  had    rendered  unsightly 

before ; 

But  to  leave  in  their  places  bright  flashes  of  steel, 
Ever  following  fast  at  the  horse's  quick  heel, 
And  a  burden,  or  greater,  or  lesser,  to  bear, 
With  no  sound  but  the  music  of  bells  in  the  air. 

All  New  York  went  on  runners — went  wild  on 

them,  too ! 
From  the  thoroughbred's  driver  to  him  of  the 

screw ; 


212  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Not  a  carter  so  poor  but  his  sled  he  possessed, 
Not  a  Croesus  so   rich  that  the   rule   be  trans 
gressed  ; 

And  the  craft  upon  axletrees  showing  that  day, 
Was  excluded  in  scorn  from  all-sleighing  Broad 
way. 

In  your  fanciful  park,  on  your  boulevards  wide, 
You  may  think  it  genteelest  of  pleasures  to  ride, 
Having  sent  up  your  sleigh  by  express,  to  be 

there, 
When  you  ride  up  yourself  in  some  wheeling 

affair ! 
But,  not  forty  years  since,  the  young  buck  in  a 

sleigh 
Who  had  called  it  a  ride  without  doing  Broad^ 

way, 

Would  have  passed  for  the  veriest  milksop  alive, 
And  been  asked,  how  it  was  he  was  trusted  to 

drive. 

Take  a  sleighride,  in  sooth,  in  New  York,  and 

not  see 
Just  how  merry  on  runners  by  daylight  't  could 

be? 


The  Sleighing  of  Old.  213 

Take  a  sleighride   by  moonlight   that  was   not 

begun 

By  essaying  Broadway's  merry  gauntlet  to  run — 
To  be  pelted  with  balls  and  be  tooted  by  horn 
On   the   lofty   stage-sleigh   and   by   box-sledder 

borne  ? 
Take  a  sleighride,  indeed  ! — Better  frankly  come 

down, 
And  confess  it  a  mere,  stupid  trip  out  of  town. 

Not  in  all  that  your  fast,  fancy  avenues  show 
Of  your  shoddy  and  speed  on  a  handful  of  snow, 
Is  there  anything  rife  with  such  good,   honest 

glee, 

As  a  ride  behind  bells  on  the  road  used  to  be, 
When  the  cutter's  keen  edge  threw  out  sparks 

in  the  cold, 
As  it  flew  through  Broadway  in  the  sleighing  of 

old. 


214  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


BEAUTY  AND  BOOTY. 

'TlS  of  a  fair  damsel  your  troubadour  sings, 
Whose  pa  was  more  rich  than  some  old-fashioned 

kings ; 

A  Murray  Hill  mansion  the  family  owned, 
And  all  their  belongings  were  very  high-toned. 

CHORUS. 

Deftly  explaining  the  perfectly  practicable  process  of  reaching 
aristocratic  circles  without  coming  of  old  stock  : — 

If  money  you've  made  in  the  fishmonger's  line, 
Just  go  into  stocks — of  a  railroad  or  mine  ; 
And,   should   the   said   venture   not   make    you 

repent, 
A  new  airy-stock-racy  you'll  represent. 

This  damsel  in  question  was  stylishly  bred, 
And  dressed  in  the  mode,  from  her  heels  to  her 

head; 

Yet  ever  she  sighed,  as  she  looked  in  the  glass : 
"  I'm  still  only  like  other  maidens,  alas  !  " 


Beauty  and  Booty.  215 

CHORUS. 

Revealing,  in  strictest  confidence,  a  delicate  secret  of  the  in 
genuous  girlish  heart  : — 

The  young  female  nature  is  never  resigned 
To  being  just  like  other  things  of  its  kind  ; 
But  craves  some  distinction  all  others  above, 
If  only  by  one  button  more  on  a  glove. 

At  length,  as  she  pondered,  a  smile  wreathed  her 

HP- 

"  They  are  still  wearing  pockets  far  round  on  the 

hip; 

I'll  have  a  sacque  made  on  a  plan  of  my  own, 
With  pocket  placed  somewhere  along  the  back 
bone  ! " 

CHORUS. 

Correcting  a  common  mistake  of  some  too  careless  masculine 
observers  who  are  utterly  unworthy  of  woman's  true  affec 
tion  : — 

There  bachelors  are  who  indulge  the  caprice, 
That  damsels  of  fashion  are  all  of  a  piece  ; 


216  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

But  let  the  fair  creatures  despise  such  attacks, 
While  difference  they  have  in  the  cuts  of  their 
sacques, 

The  article  ordered  came  home  ere  she  dined, 
And  there  was  the  pocket,  exactly  behind  ; 
She  dressed,  and  put  in  it  a  pocket-book's  wealth, 
Then  started  out-doors  on  a  walk  for  her  health. 

CHORUS. 

Showing  how  an  afternoon's  airing,  under  these  circumstances, 
conduces  to  the  health  of  a  maiden  of  the  epoch: — 

If,  gliding  along  on  a  much-crowded  street, 
The  ladies  look  back  at  one  lady  they  meet, 
Be  sure  that  the  one  whom  thus  each  eye  devours 
Feels,   therefrom,    the    better    for    twenty-four 
hours. 

Our  damsel  so  fair,  with  the  pocket  on  spine, 

Exulted  o'er  all  ol  her  rivals  to  shine ; 

But  when  she    was  back,  and  the  promenade 

done, 
She  found  that  her  pocket-book  wealthy — was 

gone ! 


Beauty  and  Booty.  217 

CHORUS. 

Digressing,  for  a  moment,  to  a  recent  remarkable  judicial  ex 
pression  of  opinion  : — 

Judge  Gildersleeve   lately  remarked,  from   the 

bench, 

He  didn't  design  on  the  fashions  to  trench ; — 
But  really,  as  some  ladies'  pockets  are  worn, 
He  wondered  more  men  were  not  pickpockets 

born. 

The  anguish  she  felt  for  her  money  was  sore, — 
Until  her  dear  pa  kindly  gave  her  some  more ; 
Then  sought  she  a  jeweler's,  straight,  with  some 

bonds, 
And  ordered  a  set  of  his  best  di-a-monds. 

CHORUS. 

Doing  but  justice  to  a  really  deep  and  clever  device  of  feminine 
judgment : — 

"  If  money  in  cash  or  in  bonds,"  reasoned  she, 
"  So  easily  stolen,  in  daylight,  may  be, 
Much  better  it  is  to  invest,  I  declare, 
In  what,  to  make  sure  it  is  safe,  you  can  wear." 


218  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

Once  more  on  the  avenue's  pavement  she  walked, 
While    crowds,   in    her   wake,  of    her  jewelry 

talked  ;— 
An   arm  round  her  neck  choked  down  even  a 

cough, 
And  then,  with  her  diamonds,  the  scoundrel  was 

off! 

CHORUS. 

Frankly  conceding  that  it  is  possible  for  such  things  to  happen 
in  a  civilized  country  : — 

When  thronged  with  all  sorts  of  a  great  city's 

pop- 
Ulation,  a  street's  not  as  safe  as  a  shop 
For  showing  a  fortune  in  gems,  and  'tis  prob- 
Able  that  so  doing  may  tempt  men  to  rcb. 

Our  damsel  so  fair  shortly  after  expired, 
Observing  :  "  Of  life  I'm  disgusted  and  tired  !  " 
And  all  her  dear  friends  said  they  thought  it  was 

plain, 
She'd  died  of  a  long-standing  soft'ning  of  brain. 


Beauty  and  Booty.  219 

CHORUS. 

In  which  the  medical  faculty,  after  scientific  investigation,  con 
clude  that—!  !  !— ?  ?  ?— 

But  when  a  post-mortem  this  story  procured, 
The  poor  damsel's  parents  the  doctors  assured, 
They'd  opened  her  skull,  as  a  final  resort, 
And  found — no  foundation  for  such  a  report ! 


NOTES. 


(221) 


Notes.  223 


NOTES. 


i — PAGE  44. 

O'er  him  bowed  the  king,  and  said : 
He  is  here— and  he  is  dead? 

In  the  realm  of  intellect  it  is  sometimes  given  the  masses  and 
their  viceroys  to  recognize  and  reward  spontaneous  individual 
excellence  ;  and  yet  there  must  be  those  great  ones  for  whom 
the  eye  of  majesty  alone  holds  the  recognition — coming  not 
until  the  mortal  changes  into  immortality. 


2 — PAGE  85. 

'Tis  but  when  all  the  nation  goes, 

Find  leisure  to  be  there  he  can, 
And  never  else— which  merely  showi 

He's  only  an  American. 

The  local  political  insignificance  of  a  mere  American  in  New 
York,  is  undoubtedly  attributable,  measurably,  to  that  once- 
respected  citizen's  too  frequent  abstinence  from  his  duty  at  the 
polls,  save  upon  occasions  of  exciting  national  importance.  Thus 
the  great  mass  of  resident  foreign  statesmen  find  it  incumbent 
upon  them,  almost  exclusively,  to  select  and  elect  legislators, 
mayors,  aldermen,  and  other  city  officers  ;  and  hence  the  nat 
urally  predominant  flavor  of  hod  and  beer-glass  in  the  man 
ners  of  the  average  official  representative  of  the  Empire  City. 


224  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

3 — PAGE  98 . 

Then  upward  winging  through  the  ether,  fleet, 
With  arms  enclasped,  arose  the  shining  Three  ; 
But  ever,  fading,  looking  back  to  Thee, 

Thou  Shade  Eternal,  bowing  at  the  feet. 

Life  at  the  purest  leads  but  tc  a  £/a/J  at  which  some  just  ac 
cusation,  or  reproach,  might  be  spoken,  and  the  noblest  death 
that  man  can  die  must  ever  take  some  tender  grace  from  the 
Fourth  Spirit  at  the  tomb— veiled  Silence  ! 


4— PAGE  101. 

Now  joy  to  Barbarossa, 

Upon  this  April  day, 
When  German  landsmen  hold  the  lines 

Of  Bow'ry  and  Broadway. 

The  occupation  of  New  York  city  by  the  Germans  on  the  loth 
of  April,  1871,  was  not  only  in  celebration  of  the  recent  somewhat 
similar  occupation  of  Paris  by  the  victorious  hosts  of  their  good 
old  Kaiser,  but  also  in  casual  demonstration  of  their  numerical 
equality,  as  voters,  with  the  vast  Hibernian  throng  which  had 
taken  summary  possession  of  all  the  leading  thoroughfares  on 
the  preceding  St.  Patrick's  day.  The  ensuing  bankruptcy  of  a 
person  of  no  particular  account,  as  related  in  the  ballad,  was 
a  fitting  reward  for  his  disrespect  in  not  observing  the  moment 
ous  occasion  as  a  National  holiday. 


5 — PAGE  107. 

So,  let  the  rescued  city  say  we  fired  without  command  and  blund'red ; 
They  take   from    Providence   the  word  who  fifty  slay  to  save  five 
hundred ! " 

At  a  critical  moment  in  the  "Orange  procession"  riot,  in 
New  York,  on  July  I2th,  1871,  the  State  militia,  guarding  the 
marching  "  Orangemen, "  became  flurried  by  the  ominously- 


Notes.  225 

increasing  aggression  of  the  surrounding  mob,  and  some  of 
them  fired  (as  was  said)  "without  orders."  The  moment  was 
that  in  which  man)'-  thousands  of  the  rioters,  pressing  fiercely 
upon  the  troops  on  either  side,  were  just  at  that  pitch  of  em 
boldened  ferocity  when  but  a  trifle  might  have  precipitated  their 
overwhelming  onslaught  ;  and  the  timely  volley  bringing  about 
fifty  of  them  to  the  dust — whether  delivered  by  official  com 
mand  or  not — certainly  turned  the  scale  of  what  might  have  be 
come,  in  another  instant,  a  terribly  sanguinary  and  doubtful 
battle. 


6 — PAGE  172. 

Outside  assistance  is 

Of  him  the  scorn, 
Gentlemen,  gentlemen, 

Who's  Boston-born !'! 

It  was  characteristic  of  the  tremendously  high  spirit  and  in 
effable  solidity  of  Boston,  that,  after  the  great  fire  in  that  city, 
on  November  gth,  1872,  when  the  local  authorities  proposed  to 
receive  contributions  from  other  towns  for  the  poorer  sufferers, 
there  was  much  indignation  at  the  idea  amongst  some  of  the 
citizens,  who,  by  notes  to  the  newspapers,  protested  that  Boston 
was  yet  rich  enough  to  take  care  of  her  own  without  "  outside 
assistance  ! " 


7— PAGE  173. 

Since  Will  M.  Carleton  made  us  the  talk  so  far  and  wide, 
There's  been  no  end  of  town-folks  for  summer-board  applied. 

When  Mr.  Carleton's  earliest  farm-ballad,  "  Betsy  and  I  are 
Out,"  appeared  obscurely  in  a  provincial  newspaper,  it  was  the 
pleasant  fortune  of  the  present  writer  to  transplant  it  promptly 
to  appreciative  metropolitan  print,  with  such  earnest  com 
mendatory  notice  as  assuredly  did  not  detract  from  its  sub 
sequent  wide  popularity.  It  was  a  happy  thought  to  set  the 
8 


226  Studies  in  Stanzas. 

practical  sentiment  of  American  farm-life  to  homely,  yet 
dramatically-effective,  verse,  and  this  and  the  succeeding  bal 
lads  of  the  series  form  a  volume  as  characteristically  and 
creditably  American  as  any  literary  production  of  the  time. 
Nevertheless,  there  is  a  side  to  agricultural  character  in  the 
United  States  not  much  shown  in  Mr.  Carleton's  vigorous 
verse,  and  to  this  the  legend  of  "Chicken  and  Eggs"  is  de 
signed  to  do  justice.  Ingenuous  as  our  native  fanner  may  be 
in  many  of  his  ways,  he  is  also  capable  of  giving  you  country- 
board,  selling  you  a  horse,  or  conveying  to  you  the  fee  simple 
of  eligible  supposititious  railroad  property  in  the  West,  with  a 
degree  of  acute  self-protection  not  readily  to  be  reconciled  with 
an  Arcadian  ideal  of  rustic  simplicity.  A  brace  of  parodies 
upon  Mr.  Carleton's  muse  may  illustrate  this  proposition  : 

"BETSY  AND  I  ARE  OUT." 

Go  'tend  the  door,  there,  Bridget,  and  mind  what  you'«e  abcut, 

For  Betsy's  mother's  comin',  and  Betsy  and  I  are  out ; 

I've  stood  the  dear  old  lady  as  long  as  ever  I  can, 

And  the  more  I've  tried  to  stan'  it,  the  more  I've  had  to  stan'. 

Since  first  we  two  got  married,  and  came  down  here  to  live, 
She's  had  no  end  of  orders  and  free  advice  to  give  ; 
There's  nothin'  a  hand  is  put  to,  outside  of  the  house  or  in, 
But  she  has  a  say  about  it  that's  always  sure  to  win. 

From  nursin'  babies  to  cleanin',  from  hayin'  to  milkin'  cows, 
We've  give  her  her  way  entirely,  as  much  as  the  law  allows  ; 
There's  hardly  a  child  or  critter,  a  field,  or  a  fence,  or  stone, 
She  hasn't  a  fault  to  find  with,  or  ever  can  leave  alone. 

Perhaps  I  might  stan'  that  much,  if  Betsy  so  should  bid, 
And  let  the  old  lady  boss  it  the  same  as  she  always  did ; 
But  now  that  her  tongue  has  taken  to  waggin'  another  courso, 
I've  got  to  be  up  an'  doin',  or  look  for  a  cheap  divorce. 

If  I  but  say  she's  a-meddlin',  she  tells  my  wife  I  drink  ; 
If  ever  I  look  at  a  woman,  she  gives  my  wife  the  wink ; 
And  comin'  from  meetin',  Sunday,  when  Betsy  was  taken  ill, 
She  said,  that  for  half  the  symptoms,  a  woman  could  file  a  bill ! 


Nates.  227 


So,  'tend  the  door,  there,  Bridget,  and  keep  your  wits  about, 
And  tell  the  dear  old  lady  that  Betsy  and  I  are  out ; 
And  then— in  case  she  threatens  to  come  some  other  day- 
Just  add  to  the  statement,  Bridget,  that  out  we  intend  to  stay? 


"OUT  OF  THE  OLD  HOUSE,  NANCY." 
Out  of  the  old  house,  Nancy— movin'  at  last,  you  see. 
And  up  in  the  new  one,  yonder,  shall  settled  quickly Jbe  ; 
But  not  for  a  good  ten  minutes  the  stage  we  take  goes  by, 
So  there's  no  need  for  hurry,  nor  bein'  quite  so  spry. 

The  first  day  that  we  came  here  was  that  on  which  we  wed, 
When  many  a  one  was  livin'  that  now  is  cold  and  dead  ; 
The  very  door  we  entered  is  green  with  the  old  paint  still, 
And  the  same  old  chany-asters  are  growing  by  the  sill. 

Up  in  the  room  that's  whitewashed,  we  heard  our  Tom's  first  cry, 
And  down  in  the  room  that's  papered  we  saw  our  Mary  die  ; 
There  ain't  a  thing  in  the  homestead  but's  breathin'  with  our  breath, 
There  ain't  a  stairway  in  it  but's  long  as  life  and  death. 

There  ain't  a  turn  nor  a  corner  but's  holding  for  us  still, 
What  don't  come  out  with  the  fixin's— what  don't  and  never  will ; 
We've  cleared  our  duds  to  the  leastmost,  from  carpet-tack  to  blind, 
But  there's  more  than  them  there,  Nancy,  which  we  must  leave  behind. 

There's  laughs  for  good  old  doin's,  there's  tears  for  troubles  shared, 
That  stay  in  the  walls  and  floorin'  the  more  that  they  are  bared ; 
We  can't  take  them  off  with  us,  however  we  may  try, 
No  more  than  the  undertaker  our  spirits  when  we  die. 

I  thought  that  the  p'int  was  settled,  that  here  we'd  always  stay, 
Until  that  chap  from  Eastward  came  pryin'  round  this  way, 
And  said  he  thought  of  takin'  a  farm  and  a  house  out  West, 
And  asked  my  frank  opinion  of  what  to  buy  was  best. 

Seein'  he  had  the  money  ;  seein'  he'd  caught  the  tune 

Of  makin'  a  Western  fortin',  as  whistled  by  the  Tribune, 

I  kind  'f  let  on,  unconscious,  that  this  was  a  place  for  sale, 

Which  couldn't  be  bought  for  no  price  when  railroads  should  prevail. 

And  when  he  asked  if  a  railroad  was  like  "  this  way  "  to  fork, 
I  said  that  more  than  one  would  come  in  "  this  way  "  from  New  York  ; 
For  this  from  'York  is  west'ard,  and  what  comes  west  from  there 
Can't  help  but  come  out  "  this  way  "  some  distance,  I  could  swear ! 


228  Studies  in  Stanzas. 


The  way  he  snapt  at  the  bargain,  and  closed  it,  after  that, 
Was  'though  I  'd  offered  a  gold  mine — it  came  so  strong  and  pat. 
He  gave  me  my  own  price  for  it,  and  seemed  like  all  aflame 
To  be  th'  old  farm's  possessor,  in  full,  when  the  railroad  came ! 

Out  of  the  old  house,  Nancy,  we  move  to  one  that's  new, 

To  hold  our  heads  with  the  great  folks,  once  scornin'  me  an'  you ; 

'Tis  good  to  stick  to  the  old  place  until  you  have  the  luck 

To  sell  to  a  down-east  Yankee,  who  then,  in  turn,  is  "  stuck  I" 


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